I don't know why I'm writing this other than I have closer internet friends than others. I just want to get a few things out guys. It will help me make sense of things.

I was just released from a psych ward for a nervous breakdown. The truth is, I was planning my suicide by researching lethal doses of prescription drugs I could fill and save until the proper potentcy was reached.. I was writing a sucide note, and I was 85% certain I could have done it with three weeks.

I have major depressive disorder and my meds totally stopped working. I fell apart in more pieces than ever before. Even today, I cry two or three times and I don't know why. If I let myself relax for just a second, there is such overwhelming sadness I just cry.
In therapy, I regressed to early, early childhood and reclaimed three abusive and tramic events. I had no flipping idea that was in there. What the hell else is in there?

I really don't know what is happening to me and why now. Shit, I'll be 53 in two months. Why have childhood flashbacks of abuse now?

I don't know why I told you this except that some of you have become very special to me. I guess I just want you to know that I'm struggling and could use a lot of hugs. (God, I'm such a girl.)

Love-Starved and Proud to Call You Friends,
Larry