Okay, any of you who have read many of my posts have heard me talk about my wife. The truth is, we never actually got married but we're basically common law.

We kinda started to get married once before but it was WAY too early in our relationship and I ended up breaking off everything between us for a while, like a month and have been together ever since. Well we've matured, and aged since then and we feel that it's time to get married. We've set the date for 9-22-04.

However, I've kinda started to ask myself WHY I love her. You see, I love Laura to death, when she's around I'm a little happier just because of it, sometimes. The problem is, that and the fact that I doubt there's anyone else out there weird enough to be able to stand me is about the only good things I can think about in our relationship. We have very few interest in common, however the one's we do have are the big one's i.e. religion, morals, etc. None of my hobbies interest her and vice versa.

I am also disabled from mental problems. With that already against me, to call my wife emotional would be an insult to emotional people. Because of this and poor communication, we usually end up bickering constantly. The problem here is that whenever we bicker, it ends up getting really heated really quick.

Admitting this next part makes me feel like a total dick but her attitude towards sex is another big issue. I gave up on asking for anal a long time ago and I've never really asked for oral that much. Whenever we have sex it's in the missionary position about 97% of the time (2% her on top, 1% other) because she says she can't cum in any other position. Me personally, missionary is my least favorite position. Basically, she kinda makes me feel like she's only interested in pleasing me by letting me eat her out. I find myself actually trying to make sure I jerk off before she gets home so I won't be tempted to ask her for sex.

Another thing that pretty much goes along with the above is that IMO sexyness is more of an attitude than looks. If a woman thinks she's sexy and struts her stuff with that thought in mind, she WILL BE SEXY. However, constantly hearing how much she hates her body and how embarassed she is about her body is not sexy.

Basically, what I'm getting around to is that I know that I will never meet another woman I love as much as laura. But that's mainly because I hardly ever leave my house. So I basically say to myself "I love laura, if by some chance I meet someone else, then I'll cross that bridge when I come to it." But when I say that I feel like kicking my own ass. I don't want to get divorced, plain and simple. Most of my strongest moral beliefs come from way back when and one big belief is until death do you part.

Obviously, this has not been the best of days and you can pretty much rack this up as senseless rambling but if you happen to have any suggestions, I could obviously use them. Well thanks for listening ... well reading anyway.