1: THINGY (thing-ee) n.
a. Female: Any part under a car's hood.
b. Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
a. Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
b. Male: Playing football without a jockstrap.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
a. female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
b. male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

4. BUTT (but) n.
a. female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
b. male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, home run or goal. Also good for mooning.

5. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
a. Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
b. Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

6. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
a. female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
b. male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

7. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
a. female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
b. male: An endless source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding.

8. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
a. female: The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
b. male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

9. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
a. female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
b. male: A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 2 minutes.

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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them."
- Ian L. Fleming (1908-1964)