DANNII MINOGUE is relying on a novel technique to ensure her forthcoming album enters the charts — by writing about her dildo.

She has penned Vibe On as an ode (or should that be ohh-de) to her vibrator.

But before I share the lyrics with you, I must put on record that I think this is one of the worst songs, with the worst lyrics, ever written.

So here it is, folks — Dannii Minogue’s tribute to her dream machine:

Instead of just lying there,
Why don’t you show me that you’re powerful,
Put in triple X batteries just so you give me something wonderful,
Change it up fast and slow
Till I find the frequency I like.

Love it when you do my vibe on
Good vibrations, that’s what gets my ride on, gotta have vibrations,
Jump on top it, sit right on it, plug it in give me my vibe on, gotta have vibrations.

I don’t want to put you down, looks like I’m a vibroholic now.

Just when things can’t get worse, she starts rapping:

Be like giving me vibrations over my stimulation,
Straight out the box uhh the hesitation,
Your speak is like a pony that I love to ride,
making me crazy.

Vibe On is on Dannii’s new album Neon Nights, released on March 17.

Who knows, it could become an anthem for pleasure- seeking girls everywhere

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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