WOMEN'S ADS

40-ish.........................49
Adventurer..................Slept with all your friends
Athletic......................No tits
Average looking..........Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful....................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile.......Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated...................Banged her Political Science professor once
Emotionally Secure....Medicated
Feminist....................Fat ballbuster
Free spirit.................Junkie
Friendship first..........Trying to live down slutty reputation
Fun..........................Annoying
Gentle......................Comatose
Good Listener...........Borderline Autistic
New-Age..................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............Lights out, missionary only, no BJs
Open-minded.............Desperate
Outgoing...................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Poet..........................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional...............Certified Bitch
Redhead....................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque.............Grossly Fat
Romantic...................Looks better by candle light
Social................ Has been passed around like an hors doeuvres tray
Voluptuous.................Very Fat
Weight proportional w/ height.......Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate..............Stalker
Widow......................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart............Old bat
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