Pay close attention here fellows....
Women's Rules for Blow Jobs
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1-- So if you get one, be grateful.
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it's not standard practice to come on someone's face.
4. Extension to rule #3 -- No, I DON'T have to swallow.
5. My ears are not handles,
6. Extension to rule #5 -- don't push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?
7. I don't care how relaxed you get, it is NEVER okay to fart.
8. Having my period doesn't mean it's "hummer week." Get it through your head -- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because you can't have sex right now.
9. Extension to #8 -- "Blue Balls" might have worked in high school. But if you're really that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.
10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked" it for you.
11. Leaving me in bed while you play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you'd like to get another blow job in the future.
12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.
13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.
14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.
15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut.
16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."
Now can you add your own rules????? LMFAO!!!
Women's Rules For Bj's!!!
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