It's been almost 2 years since we seperated and I still miss my ex wife. I've had a few flings since her. Some were serious, some were not. I know that everyone will say that I'll forget all about her once I find the one that was meant for me, but what if she WAS the one meant for me. Last I heard, she was with someone down in alabama and had just had a kid. I keep wishing and praying that she walks back into my life but I know that's never going to happen. I haven't talked to her in months and tonight she just popped into my very lonely head. We were together for like 3 1/2 years and it's been over half that long since she left me. I'm seriously starting to wonder if I'll ever get over her. She never wronged me and I was the one that drove her away. She's completely innocent and I know that if she were to walk through my door right now, I'd fall to my knees thanking god that she's back. I've decided to call her again and see how things are going. Like I said, the last time we talked, everything in her life was going great. My life is slowly improving day by day, I'm sober 67 days today, but I'm still alone and wishing I had the love of my life back in my arms. I can't remember a lot of my life due to all the pot I've smoked in my lifetime but I can still remember the way it felt to fall asleep holding her. I'm confident I'll never forget that. The only advice I'm looking for here is how to get over her. Other than that, I'm basically just looking for a shoulder to cry on. I miss her, I miss her so much it hurts. Sure, I've stopped dreaming about her but other than that I miss her as bad or worse than the day she left me. I mean if I still miss her this much, how can she NOT be the one I was meant for?!? I doubt she even thinks about me. I was such an ass and did such horrible things that she probably would never accept me back no matter what the circumstances were. I'm really down in the dumps about all this because I truely feel that she was the only person who would ever be willing to put up with all my shit. I'm NOT an easy guy to live with but she stood beside me, faithfully I might add, to the bitter end. While I was with her, I had only been with 2 women (including her) and I wanted to experiment more. But now that I've been with other women and 2 guys, I know that she was more than I could have ever wanted. Yeah she was a little boring when it came to sex and no she wasn't willing to do everything my perverted little mind could think of but she was willing to try just about anything. What more could a guy ask for? Sure she wasn't a supermodel but I'm no freaking brad pitt either. What I'm getting at is she was everything I ever wanted and if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have let God himself tear us apart! I guess I'll stop complaining and just be thankful and glad that she's with someone that makes her happy. That's all I want for her, is to be happy. But unless she's with me, I'm stuck being miserable. She's happy and I'm miserable, that's my life today. Anyway, thanks for listening.

Laura, if you're out there, I miss you!!!

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words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!