
08-16-2006, 01:57 PM
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Not there yet.....
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: NE USA
Posts: 19,794
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Feedback: Just one night.
Excellent storytelling.... enough so that I felt it was me in that situation!
I also liked the encounter being told from a woman's point of view. That said, feel free to add what you'd be feeling, seeing, tasting and smelling. Also re-read it several times to catch mis-used words like "he, him, her, his" etc.
I hope you continue to write some more as I enjoyed reading and not stopping til I was finished. Keep it up!!!
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