A Farmer has a flock of sheep and decides he wants to breed them, so he goes to market and buys a ram. After several weeks he takes the sheep to the Vet and asks him to check to see if they are pregnant. "Oh, no" , says the Vet, "I can tell right away that none of your sheep are pregnant. A pregnant sheep always lies down after it becomes pregnant.

"Well, whats the problem then?" Asks the farmer.

"I think your ram might be gay", ventures the Vet.

So the farmer says, "I can't afford another ram, is there any other way to get my sheep pregnant?"

The Vet says, "Well you could always try artificial insemination.".

"Oh right" says the farmer, "I'll think about that" and then he leaves. When back at the farm the farmer thinks to himself, "Artificial insemination must mean I've got to shag the sheep myself, but I can't let the wife know." So, being a clever farmer, he takes all the sheep off in the back of his truck to a deserted field a few miles out of town and shags them all, brings them back, puts them in the field and goes to bed. In the morning he gets up, goes to the window to see if any of the sheep are lying down. Alas no, all of the sheep are as upright as sheep can be.

"Alright then," thinks the farmer to himself, "I'll have to do them all twice just to be on the safe side" So he takes all the sheep in the back of his truck to the deserted field again and shags them all twice! Brings them back, puts them in their field and goes to bed. In the morning all the sheep are still standing proud.

"Right", says the farmer,"no more mucking about".He puts all the sheep in the back of his truck and takes them to the deserted field where he shags them all 5 TIMES!!!. Brings them back, puts them in the field and goes to bed.

Well come the morning the poor farmer aches from head to toe and can't get out of bed because he is so tired from yesterday's shagging so he asks his wife to look out the window and tell him if any of the sheep are lying down.

She goes to the window and looks out and says, "No, they are not lying down, they are all in the back of your truck and one of them is honking the horn!

omg :grin:

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

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Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over, it became a butterfly!

Owning Pita, by my JassWolf!!
My Story~ Friday Night Spanking

Roflmao

lmao!

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

lmfao

Wakey wakey...where's our snakey?

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.