
02-13-2005, 01:07 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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Little Black Book
~!*~Just got done watching the movie...and it makes me want to ask~!*~
What do you know about your S/O's romantic past? Do you want to know more than you do?
Ever had the crazy desire to go through his/her "little black book" and call a few exes just to "make sure" that everything is over, and see why it *really* ended?
...And do you belive this information would be pertinent to your relationship with your S/O? Do previous relationships (in your opinion) tell you anything about your S/O's character or hangups?
~!*~ Enquiring minds want to know ~!*~
__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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02-13-2005, 01:12 PM
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~getting by~
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: South of the Mason Dixon
Posts: 3,937
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WOW! I just got done watching this movie too... how ironic is that?
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02-13-2005, 01:14 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maddy
WOW! I just got done watching this movie too... how ironic is that?
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Great minds. So...I'll interview your S/O's exes if you interview mine.
(just kidding)
Did you like it?
__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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02-13-2005, 01:15 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 693
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I think I know everything about my DH's past. What I didnt get from him I got from his roommates when we first met.
I know that I am the tallest girl/woman he has ever been with. And the one with the smallest boobs.
Good thread!
Barb
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02-13-2005, 01:20 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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Those things seemed important when we were first together. However after the first decade, what was before was moot.
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02-13-2005, 04:28 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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Mr. Osuche and I met when I was 18 and he was 20. He didn't have very much of a past -- 2 serious girlfriends (which really weren't -- less than 5 months each) and only one previous lover. He and I went to her wedding together, the second year we dated. I never *needed* to stress over his past.
But I suspect that dating is considerably different for those who meet their S/Os later in life. There's more history, and more opportunity to pick up "baggage" along the way.
It's complicated, I think. You want someone who has loved before ('cause what's wrong with a man who is in his 30s or 40s and has never been in love?), so that they are seasoned. But you don't want them to have loved too much, where they are scarred.
You want them to have broken up with girlfriends for the "right" reasons. But what ARE the right reasons? And do they say something about his character?
<sigh> Maybe I am happy I met the right man early. Or maybe I over-analyze  ~~ it's been known to happen!
Thoughts?
__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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02-13-2005, 05:01 PM
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Freeze!
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 482
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Well first up, I don't think there is a right or wrong way to break up with someone. There is a easy way and a hard way. (The hard way being where you get into a serious fight and everything comes out.)
Now onto the subject at hand. I don't think that we should ever delve into our S/O's past too much. The reason for this is, it can cause unwanted tension and put the r/ship under serious strain. In particular if you did ring any of their ex's, will they be forthcoming or just tell you that you are a nosey so and so?
There is no point in dragging the r/ship through the mud if you don't need to. If you are happy with your S/O then what does it matter about their past? Live and let live I say.
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02-13-2005, 06:18 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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There are some instances where someone's past relationships have had a profound affect on the person they have become. In those cases I think it's important to talk to your S/O about their past relationships. I never think it's ok to snoop behind their back but just as important as their relationship with their family, are the relationships they have had with other loves.
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02-13-2005, 06:19 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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In this day it is important to ask your S/O about his/her sexual past... as far as emotional - well that is something that will eventually come out as you each get to know one another.
I wouldn't call up an old girlfriend/wife...it isn't that important. I am going to learn about who I am with on my own without anyone else's perspective, which, btw could be entirely wrong for the current situation.
__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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02-14-2005, 12:32 PM
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pixie of the wood
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,575
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i think i probably know about half of it. it's something we talk about on occasion. i can't say i want to know more but i don't not want to know either, know what i mean? i've met two or three of his ex-es but i didn't have the urge to talk with them about him. if i ever did come across some sort of book i would definately go through it, though. it would be fun....like looking at old yeaarbooks. he doesn't have one, though... not that i know of anyway
i think we do get something from knowing about each other's pasts. it can add to our sex life in some ways, our home life in others. not profoundly but some. plus, it's just fun when we talk about old relationships, old times, before we knew each other. i learn new things about him, hear new stories.
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