I started this thread because I think I have a lot to contribute.

Let's share with each other some insane things we have done in the past that sounded like a great idea but didn't quite turn out the way we anticipated.



My first contribution: I went to replace a burnt out light bulb, and rather than going all the way down to the garage to hit the breaker & get the ladder, I grabbed a bulb and pulled up the closest chair...a rocking chair. I stepped up, reached for the fixture, and when the chair rocked...my finger went straight into the socket.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Well, the first thing that comes to my mind was greatly assisted by single malt scotch. Was with my brother in law enjoying a bottle of Glenlivet and for some reason we decided it would be really cool to get out some fireworks and play around.

He had a bottle rocket that he wanted to light but the only bottle we had was the scotch and well.......... can't use that one.

So........... I said, "hey, I'll just hold it and aim it, you light it." Sounded like a good plan to him so we gave it a go. The rocket shot into the air maybe four or five feet and then came right back down, hitting me on the foot. Of course, I wasn't wearing shoes, just sweatsocks and yep, the sparks started it on fire.

Meanwhile my BIL was looking in the air saying, "Where'd it go? Do you see it?" I'm laughing because I'm drunk as hell and my foot is on fire. So I said, "Here it is!"

BIL sees my foot on fire and starts laughing with me. Then says, "Hey put it out!"

So I poured the rest of my glass of scotch on it. Got a nice little flame from that one which we found even more hilarious than the fact that I was simply on fire.

The next morning I woke up on the couch with their greyhound licking my foot. Not sure if she was tasting me or trying to clean the wound. My BIL ended up staying at my place for about a week because my sister wouldn't talk to either of us.

Yep, probably should've just used an empty beer can to hold the bottle rocket.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Ah yes...explosives are such a great topic for this thread. I was riding shotgun in a VW bug, and we were throwing lit bottle rockets out the window. It was suggested that I try to throw it out in front of the car so we could try & catch up to it and watch it explode right in front of us. Great idea!

I lit it and threw it out the window. It went out in front and right into the open driver's side window landing between his legs. Knowing there was nothing he could do...he slammed his legs shut. I, of course, had no idea what the hell was happening until I heard him scream "OH SHIT" and it was followed by a muffled pop.


Good times! Parenthood is nothing like those days!

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Hmmmm...right now something that seemed like a good idea at the time was me saying:

'Let's have a baby'

Testing times in the Pucker household right now - it's a developmental thing I think.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

I used to fence with live blades. I once slit my boyfriend's (at the time) biceps open. It was pure Hell driving him to the Emergency room, and explaining to his mother what we were up to.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

getting married to a woman with 2 daughters?? and after divorcing the first, then dating another woman with 4 kids?


Well they are both in the past, live and learn I guess.

seemed like a good idea at time

1. saying lets adopt from china

i would still do it again but the plane ride sucks big time. if someone could just make teleporting. lol

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Frankly my dear i don't give a damn *Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'hara."


"Tomorrow is another day" Scarlette O'hara monologue..

socrates last words.. " i drank what?!"

Aw hell, I could waste the rest of my life on this thread...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Wanna hear about the time I tried to jump my bicycle over a septic tank?

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Riding a skateboard with really loose trucks down a large hill standing up. (Hey, I was triple dog dared.) After falling off at the bottom my elbow looked like it had been attacked by a cheese shredder. It also didn't help that I slid and rolled into some gravel on the side of the street.

A year later I removed two rocks from under the skin and a Dr had to remove the third cause it was too deep for me to dig out.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Oh, and moving my girlfriend into the apartment with my wife and I was not the brightest thing I've ever done either.

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Do you want a list of when I was drunk or sober?










(the sober list would be a lot longer)

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it's only kinky the first time

it's not the orgasm but getting there thats fun

a shot in the bush is worth two in the hand

whip me, beat me, tie me up, break my arm, but please don't break my heart

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid people are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" -Bertrand Russell

I want it all, Boog!

Take for example, the time my cousin and I spent almost an entire week pulling the lead off of 22 shells so we could collect the gunpowder & fill a toilet paper tube to make a firecracker.


A firecracker that generated a four feet deep crater and relocated several small trees. Not to mention the soiled trousers.

Found an unused firecracker sometime after the Fourth of July, it had gotten wet but was dry when I found it...the fuse seemed a little shorter than it should have, but I was pretty sure I could light it & toss it quickly enough...

Wrong again. I should've gone with a quick toss instead of the windup. Went off in my hand just as I drew back.

my right ear rang for the next 3 days...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Not sure if this was realy a bad idea over all but it didn't turn out to well.

I call a friend to jump my car one night and when it didn't start right away with the jump we deciided he would hook his tow strap on and tow me home. It was night and just starting to rian and about a half mile down the road the battery didn't have enough juice to run the winshield wippers or the linghts. I hit a slick spot and my car went in the ditch before my friend even relized it he had pulled me back out and my car shot into the other lane. Where I met a 4 wheel drive truck head on (luckly I was in a 1969 Chevy Impala a Car made back when they made them with real american steel). End up with a broken femur that needed a plate and 5 or 6 screws in it a week in the hospital and 6 month on crutches.

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it's only kinky the first time

it's not the orgasm but getting there thats fun

a shot in the bush is worth two in the hand

whip me, beat me, tie me up, break my arm, but please don't break my heart

"The trouble with the world is that the stupid people are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt" -Bertrand Russell