my husband has an old girlfriend that he talks to. Not on a regular basis, but they drop an email once in a while. She is actually the best friend of his best friend's girlfriend, so they stay in touch. I'm very touchy about her, because he cheated with her early in our relationship. It's always bothered me that he corrosponds with her. I figure, he cheated with her once, what's to stop from doing it again? Plus, I;m pretty insecure about my weight, and she's skinnier than me, and basically everything i think he wants in a woman. he knows how I feel, but we both agree that the past is the past. I'm really trying to get over all that.

She dropped him an email the otehr day letting him know what she was up to. I'm cleaning out his email for him about once a week, so i see all his mail. I responded to her that he was overseas and gave her his new email address if she wanted to contact him. This was REALLY hard for me to do. It would have been so easy to delete the message and pretend it never happened. But my shoulder angel said that I had to do the right thing - besides, what's he going to do five thousand miles away? The devil on the other shoulder was real quick to remind me that he would be back eventually.

I trust my husband. But we all know how attached we can sometimes get to a bit of the past. someone tell me I did the right thing. I know I did, I just need to hear it from someone else.

LAW

I was sooooo hoping you sent it so I could indeed say it!!!!


You did the right thing. (((hugs))) Wouldn't it be nice if the easy thing and the right thing were the same sometimes????

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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You didn’t do a wrong thing. You are a very upright person.

Maybe a little note telling HER that you gave it to her in spit of the consideration to do otherwise would set the boundaries and the fact that they ARE watched. It will of course get back to him and maybe give him the same message. It’s not bad when EVERYBODY understands the rules of the game.

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Speaking as a mere male here, I think you did the right thing... far better to make it clear now.

Its probably better in the long term. At least yours is a reasonably conventional one, mine isnt.. its a long distance one, and with frequent visits. Actually, a fellow Pixian (she'll know when she reads this) tried to tell me off for flirting. I asked my girl and she said she'd be annoyed if I didn't! As long as she gets her share, she isn't too bothered what i do here. In fact I may persuade her to join to meet you all so you can hear for yourself!

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Pashkin, the Panther
Observer & Connoisseur of the Female Form
A re-introduction

MY LIVEJOURNAL

It's Me & Myself in graphic detail!

Pixies' Eminent Astronomer & Meteorologist at Hull & East Riding Astronomy Society

(((((LAW))))) ~~ you did the right thing, lady.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

LAW big (((hugs)))) Yes, you did the right thing.

I know you did the right thing, LAW. I probably wouldn't have done it, which says more about your character than mine. I would take PF's advice though about sending her a little note.

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It's a BOY!!

Sorry LAW,but i'm not so self righteous as some of the other respondents,i think you should have sent a clear message to her to stop the correspondence with your husband,and then send one to him informing him of your actions,just my ten cents worth, lol

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you can alway's tell a limey,But Not Much


I'm so miserable with out you,

It's almost like having you here

I think that you did the right thing. Coming from not-quite-the-other-side-of-the-fence, i.e. I am best friends with one of my ex's, and that sometimes makes his girlfriends uncomfortable. You don't really know how she feels or where she's coming from, so I don't think that telling her off is a good idea, because I would be extremely offended by something like that. Anyway. Yes, you did the right thing.

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I see your fantasy... you want to make it a reality

Are you in the mood to be subdued

You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Tie me to the bedpost

I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

I think you did fine Hon.... just try not to let second guessing worry you.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

PS I read the words of your sig, blkcat, and I can't say I care for their sentiment. But its your choice.

English and proud of it....

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Pashkin, the Panther
Observer & Connoisseur of the Female Form
A re-introduction

MY LIVEJOURNAL

It's Me & Myself in graphic detail!

Pixies' Eminent Astronomer & Meteorologist at Hull & East Riding Astronomy Society

You're never going to be able to follow him around to make sure he stays faithful. At some point, you just have to have faith that he has made his choice and he's with the woman he REALLY wants. Besides, I really believe that confidence is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Yes, you did the right thing. Us girls sure do get jealous and that's natural. But you being the person you are will make things ok and he is with you for a reason.

Hugs

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~Tainted Love~

You made the perfect choice!!! And personally I think the fact that you emailed her with the info is setting down the ground rules (if she didn't know already) ... it says that he trusts you with his home email info and to handle things as they should be done ... and that you trust him enough to forward his info to her .... Sometimes just acting as if ... you aren't jealous and you are confident in the choices he will make ... will make it that much more likely that you are correct.

As Lil said ... know that doesn't mean the choice you made was easy!!!

As Osuche said .... you can only trust him to keep the promises you've made to each other .... he could cheat with anyone at anytime if that's what he decides to do! But just remember, he chose you ... even after he knew her ... so it must be you he really wants!

I feel good about this.

He actually got online today and (coincidence of coincidence) saw our correspondance. he emailed me and said that he was shocked that i had actually done it and that he was suprised.

So alls well and ends well I guess.

Thanks everybody for your hugs and stuff. I think this was maybe a big step to helping me get over some of my issues.