Idle Thoughts



> I planted some birdseed. A bird came up.
> Now I don't know what to feed it.
>
> I had amnesia once -- or twice.
>
> I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
>
> Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
>
> All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
>
> If the world were a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
>
> What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
>
> They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.
>
> Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he
> grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
>
> Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
>
> Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
>
> What if there were no hypothetical questions?
>
> One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
>
> When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
> look like a nail.
>
> A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
>
> What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmmm?
>
> My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
>
> I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
>
> The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
>
> How can there be self-help "groups"?
>
> Is there another word for synonym?
>
> Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
>
> The speed of time is one-second per second.
>
> Is it possible to be totally partial?
>
> What's another word for thesaurus?
>
> Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
>
> If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
>
> Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show
> you a man who can't get his pants off.
>
> It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
>
> Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Am I living in the past or do all of these sound like something Steven Wright
(comedian)would have used in his monologue? Irish
P.S.Anybody heard what he's doing,lately?Years ago,he was on everything.
Now,you never see him!

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

it does sound like his stuff

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Agree it does sound like his stuff. No idea what he's doing now.

But this was funny. Thanks for posting it Irish.

:grin:
too funny, irish...
can't remember whch one, but i think i recently heard his voice on a cartoon. he still does his stand-up shows, too.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

Life is not like a box of chocolates. If it were you wouldn't last a day, let alone 100 years. Life is like a Christmas fruitcake.

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

I wonder why you never see Steven Wright anymore!I really enjoyed him,
because his humor was so different.(dry?)His humor was different but it made
sense,when you thought about it. Irish

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)