Subject: Differences Between Women and Men


1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and
Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,
Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their
bill, out comes the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A women will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in
the typical women's bathroom is 337. (A man would not be able to identify
most of these items.)

5. ARGUMENTS
A women has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that....is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. A man will dress up for
weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, hopes
and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

AND FINALLY...
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses and
pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife
replied, "IN-LAWS!"

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

I take extreme exception to #6. I love on our cats more than my wife does.

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

I haven't analized,the others,but #10,fits my wife & I perfectly. Irish
P.S.This was just sent to me from one of my DIVORCED daughters!

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Aqua---I assume that they were generalizing. Irish

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Oh, I'm sure of it... and I'm sure they are a great many Pixies here that would take exception to most of that list. Although I'm also sure there are some people nodding their heads to some of these saying, "yup, so true". LOL

__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

I'm kinda partial to # 8 LOL

I love it, thanks lol

__________________
I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

TT---My daughter also sent it to my wife,at work.May 1st,we will be married for 40yrs.You wouldn't believe,how much we laughed over it,when we looked
at it together. Irish

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

If a man did'nt get married he would go through life thinking he had no faults at all.

A young boy say's to his father,dad is it true in some country's a man does'nt know his wife until they get married,
Son that happens in every country.

A man is incomplete until he gets married,
Then he's Finished.

__________________
you can alway's tell a limey,But Not Much


I'm so miserable with out you,

It's almost like having you here

HAHAH

Yup!

Pegged that one, Irish.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

tooooo damn funny.....thanks, irish

__________________
~~lost in you~~

Women will never be the equal to men,until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut,and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence

__________________
you can alway's tell a limey,But Not Much


I'm so miserable with out you,

It's almost like having you here