Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink

whatever comes out?"



2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken

there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta

it's butt."



3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the

toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being

would eat?



4. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?



5. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there

a song about him?



6. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool

lane?



7. If the professor on Gilligan'sIsland can make a radio

out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?



8. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for

the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask

where the bathroom is?



9. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you

get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?



10. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on

all fours? They're both dogs!



11. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that

Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?



12. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?



13. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is

made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?



14. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality

come from morons?



15. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by

a mouse?



16. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle

Little Star have the same tune?



17. Stop singing and read on ...



18. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet

Soup?



19. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside

the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in

your butt?



20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's

face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a

car ride, he sticks his head out the window?



21. Does pushing the elevator button more than once

make it arrive faster?

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Oh Irish these are great!

__________________
I am here for only a short time on this earth. My goal is to make everyone I see smile if only for a moment.

Inquiring minds....yada, yada, yada!

Too funny Irish!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~