Congress at it's best
Subject: Booking Travel for Our Congress
Confessions from a travel agent working with the US Congress:
I had a New Hampshire congresswoman ask for an aisle seat
on the airplane so that her hair wouldn't
get messed up by being near the window.
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I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go
to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight
and the passport information.
She interrupted me with,
"I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts."
Without trying to make her look like the stupid one,
I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Capetown is in Africa." Her response (click).
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A senior Vermont congressman called,
furious about a Florida package we did.
I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando.
He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that is not possible,
since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, "Don't lie to me.
I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!!!"
*****************************
I got a call from a lawmakers wife who asked,
"Is it possible to see England from Canada?"
I said, "No."
She said, "But they look so close on the map."
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An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called
and asked if they could rent a car in Dallas.
When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed they only had a 1-hour
layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
"I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive
between the gates to save time."
**********************************
An Illinois congresswoman called last week.
She needed to know how it was possible that her flight
from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am.
I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she could not understand the concept of time zones.
Finally, I told her the plane went very fast,
and she bought that!
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A New York lawmaker called and asked,
"Do airlines put your physical description on your bag
so they know who's luggage belongs to who?"
I said, "No, why do you ask?"
She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),
and I'm overweight, I think that is very rude!"
After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it"
(I was actually laughing) I came back and explained
the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT),
and that the airline was just putting a destination tag
on her luggage.
*****************************************
A lady senator called and said,
"I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said,
"Yeah, whatever!!"
*********************************
A senior senator called and had a question about
the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times
and never had to have one of those."
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told
him this he said,
"Look, I've been to China four times
and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
****************************************
A New Mexico congresswoman called to make reservations,
"I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York"
The agent was at a loss for words.
Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what
flights do you have?" replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with,
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."
The lady retorted, "Oh don't be silly!
Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!"
The agent scoured a map of the state of New York
and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?"
"That's it! I knew it was a big animal", she admitted!!!
Now you know why the government is in the shape that it is.
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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