02-09-2004, 02:32 PM
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Pixies Horse Widower
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 9,476
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Romance Mathematics!
Is this ANYTHING to do with the "Love Button" d'you think?
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind
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02-09-2004, 03:08 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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OMG, DM ~~ you ABSOLUTELY made my day!!! With this (below):
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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02-09-2004, 04:28 PM
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1 of 8,213,984,035
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,531
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Loved OSUCHE's pick and....
"A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need."
TOO true!!!!! 
__________________
 PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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02-09-2004, 11:45 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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Even at a garage sale ------^^^^^^ ??????? 
__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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02-11-2004, 05:30 PM
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~~Kinky Bitch~~
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ~~~Dela-Where???~~~
Posts: 2,144
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omg i luv the funeral one omg to funny!!!!!!!!!
~nikki
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02-11-2004, 07:00 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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LMAO...what a classic!!
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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02-11-2004, 07:14 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Home.
Posts: 22,127
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classic osuche....made me chuckle which has been hard to do today
__________________
If someone offers a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny??
Don’t let the hardship of the past, take away from the joy of the present
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