For all of those ladies who have children, how did you know when you were ready? And how did you discuss your decision with your SO?

One issue between my SO and me is children. He wants them soon and I don't feel ready...nor do I know *when* I will be ready. He doesn't want to get married until I commit to having kids, and I don't know that I can confidently do so.

A little about me...27 yrs old, been working for 6 years, professional job (one of my key concerns is giving up my career), and been with my SO for almost 9 years.


Ladies...any wisdom to share?

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

*BUMP*

osuche, we're going through the same thing. I'm 29 and HIS clock is bloody ticking. I'm not ready yet and we've settled on it being within three years or so . . . we'll see. I want to get a better job and he can stay home with the young'uns. You're young, relax and take it easy (that's my advice for me, anyway)

Steph-- same issue here. I want to make VP before I have kids and I have no idea when it will happen. Fiance worries that the lure of power will be too seductive and that I won't want to have them. Not sure I totally disagree...except that I think someday I will want them.

I would relax, but he won't marry me until he is confiodent that I am willing and eminently ready. Not sure how to deal with this issue...is it possible to confidently reassure him???

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

I really wish I had some insightful answer to give you both but I don't..... big help huh?!? I just knew I wanted kids, acutally with my SO & I it was him who wasn't all that sure about having them.

I do know 2 families where the wife works full time at her career. In one family the husband says home with the kids full time. In the 2nd, a same sex marriage, one is full time employed, the other works part time just to keep her foot in the door so she can go back when thier 2 kids are in school.

Maybe talk with your SO & see if he'd be willing/able to stay with the children either full or part time while you continue working. I think your children would benifit from having a happy, fullfilled Mom & not one that felt forced to stay home. Who knows once you've got them you may decide to stay home after all.

What ever you decide, good luck to you both in your careers, your relationships and with your future families. It is a big decision and its good your putting so much thought into it and talking it out with your SO. Just shows to me what thoughtful, caring, informed parents you'll make.

teddy

You know you are ready when the test is positive and you think....OK guess I am having a baby

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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Thanks, teddy!
ROFL Lilith!

My guy just printed out the date for a bridal exhibit (the big bridal shows?). I don't think he's seen this thread yet so I'm surprised!

Boy, I'm not the one to ask. I wanted two and my wife wanted five. That's what we got ... seven.

LMAO @DB! Thanks for my morning giggle.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

I'm a guy....and just my two cents worth......if he really "Loves"you,he shouldn't be pressuring you about haveing kids...he shouldn't be saying "I wont marry you till you say I want to have kids" Plus the fact that you will be the one carrying it for nine months and then the stretch marks after.....

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Sex is like a card game - if you don't have a good partner you better have a good hand!


A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

The dear Lil, is wise as always........... The second third and fourth are a slightly different question.

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Vigil, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.

Madam, if you were my wife, I would take it.

Not that it means anything at this stage, but I don't want kids. Maybe I'll change my mind later, but right now I just don't see why.

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters

I don't think this is exactly right to be saying that if he loves her then he wouldn't pressure her to have kids,

He's not pressuring her to have kids right away, he just wants to know that someday he'll be able ot have a child of his own, This is an important issue for alot of people

Heck even myself, I'm young, I don't want kids right now, or anytime soon for that matter but someday I would like to have a child. I wouldn't want to commit myself to someone who wouldn't even consider the possibility either

I'm not saying anyone is in the wrong here, but I can't blame the guy for wanting to have kids sometime in the future, although that certainly doesn't mean that she's wrong for not wanting to have kids, but it seems that if the two of you were to get married that he would be the one hurting eventualy,

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You ask me if I've known love and what it's like to sing songs in the rain?
Well I've seen love come, I've seen shot down, I've it die in vain

Maybe someday I'll see you again, and you'll look me in my eyes and call me a friend.