Live Chat

Go Back   Pixies Place Forums > Sex Talk > General Chat
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-15-2003, 02:34 PM
IAKaraokeGirl's Avatar
IAKaraokeGirl IAKaraokeGirl is offline
~*Geeky Girl*~
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On the farm
Posts: 47,960
Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus

*Real Men Test*

Note: Although this is test for men only and all "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions, women will also benefit by reviewing them so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives. Communication, as you know, is key.


1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.

You decide to:

A._ Present it to the President of the United States.
B._ Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C._ Take it apart.

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

A._ Innocence.
B._ Idealism.
C._ Cherry bombs.

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?

A._ When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
B._ When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
C._ When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A._ A cat.
B._ A dog.
C._ A dog that eats cats.

5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

A._ That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
B._ That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C._ That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.

6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A._ You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B._ You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C._ Tell her what?

7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

A._ "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B._ "They're in school already?"
C._ "There are three of them?"

8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

A._ When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
B._ When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
C._ It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, (but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear.

9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A._ He was being tested.
B._ He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C._ He refused to ask for directions.

10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A._ Democracy.
B._ Religion.
C._ Remote control.


__________________


"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author


Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-15-2003, 02:38 PM
Lilith's Avatar
Lilith Lilith is offline
♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
Send a message via Yahoo to Lilith
Ha!!!!! Too funny
__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§

~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-15-2003, 03:36 PM
skipthisone's Avatar
skipthisone skipthisone is offline
Bastard of Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 6,029
Send a message via Yahoo to skipthisone
I am not sure I would answer C to any of those...although 8 is a definate
__________________
Love...the slowest form of suicide.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-15-2003, 05:02 PM
seriousfun's Avatar
seriousfun seriousfun is offline
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Culver City, CA, US
Posts: 226
I resemble that remark
__________________
seriousfun

Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-15-2003, 07:38 PM
PantyFanatic's Avatar
PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
1 of 8,213,984,035
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,538
There must be a D._ for each of these. There should always be something funny to make them a joke.
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie


"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-16-2003, 12:13 AM
Steph's Avatar
Steph Steph is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
You're outside with your girlfriend's dog. There's no power and it's a hot night. Your girlfriend worked overtime in an office building with no a/c because of the power outage and she ate a semi-frozen dinner because the microwaves weren't working. She also had to climb up and down seven flights of stairs to have a smoke.

Your girlfriend's dog gets sprayed by a skunk.

Do you:

A. Hose him down and wash him immediately.
B. Hose him down and then run upstairs to grab some provisions to spend the night outside with the smelly dog
C. Bring him in the house and into the bedroom and shut the door so the smell makes your girlfriend ill?


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-16-2003, 04:02 AM
dicksbro's Avatar
dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
LMAO.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-16-2003, 08:53 AM
PantyFanatic's Avatar
PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
1 of 8,213,984,035
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,538
D. Set a stack of old towels, a can of tomato juice and a bottle of dish detergent on the back porch, lock and put a chair against the door?












__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie


"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-16-2003, 09:54 AM
LixyChick's Avatar
LixyChick LixyChick is offline
Everybody Stretch!
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
LMFAO!

Oops! I laugh at all the inappropriate times!
__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-16-2003, 10:25 AM
Steph's Avatar
Steph Steph is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
Quote:
Originally posted by pantyfanatic
D. Set a stack of old towels, a can of tomato juice and a bottle of dish detergent on the back porch, lock and put a chair against the door?


Yes! D would work, too!










Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-16-2003, 10:46 AM
Cheyanne's Avatar
Cheyanne Cheyanne is offline
Suprise Me
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
ROTFLMAO..... I am with Lixy on that one....

Sorry Steph.. I know that it really isn't funny, but I can't help it........ LOL
__________________
A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-16-2003, 11:37 AM
Steph's Avatar
Steph Steph is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
It wasn't funny at the time but as the smell fades, my sense of humour returns.

Let's just hope the new nickname "Skunky" doesn't last too long at work!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-16-2003, 11:52 AM
PantyFanatic's Avatar
PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
1 of 8,213,984,035
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,538
E. Have her work mate call from work and tell you when it's safe to remove the chair.
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie


"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-16-2003, 12:55 PM
Steph's Avatar
Steph Steph is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
LOL

He'll survive to screw up another day!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:29 PM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.0.10
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.