I seem to be having a problem masturbating. Every time I masturbate, I have to stop doing it before I climax. I have no idea why it is, but I really wish that I could continue, and have an orgasm. I used to have frequent orgasms, but it seems like now, when I masturbate, that it gets to where I just have to stop before I go any further. I need some new techniques on how to go longer without stopping! I am in desperate need of some help! Please Help me!!!

couple of questions...

1) Are you using vibes or fingers?

2) Are you experiencing pain?

3) Do you use lube?

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Yes
No
and Yes


oh, you probably weren't asking me, right?

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Okie Dokie.. To answer your questions I use both fingers and vibes, there is no pain, and I do use lube. Any suggestions so far?

Move the vibe or your fingers away slightly when it gets intense. Keep some motion going but keep away from the "hot spot" until you're ready for more.

I find I always move around the sensitive area when I'm getting close and I let myself build up to the big O.

Good luck!!

Thanks Steph.. I will definitely try that. Hell, I'm so desparate I'll try anything. Thanks again

I have a few questions too mmm_mmm_good......but firstly, let me say Welcum to Pixies hun!

Now........

1. How old are you? (I ask, because a female orgasm is a learned process and "with age comes wisdom"!).

2. What is it that is "stopping" you? Do you just think that it will never happen? Does it take too long and you give up? Does it scare you to "let go"? Do you not even reach a level where you feel like it could happen? I just don't quite understand why you feel like you "have" to stop. Is it anxiety? Fear? Pain?.....Please try and explain that better hun! (a little 411 here......a vibrator used too frequently (constant) can numb the most sensitive areas that help us masturbate to orgasm).

3. Do you climax with a partner?

4. How recently since the last lone orgasm?

Don't mind me......I promise I am trying to be helpful and yet I am no doc! But I am wise and if you can pinpoint certain facts......our family here is a plethora of mega help and information!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Hey LixyChick.. thanks for trying to be helpful

I am 20 years old, and I don't really know why I stop sometimes. When I'm using only my fingers it is almost like I'm scared just to keep going, and then when I'm using a vibrator (which is not actually that often) I can cum with no problem. Sometimes it feels like it gets too intense for me to handle or something.

Yes, I do climax with a partner.. not every time.. but more so than not.

My last orgasm from masturbation was probably about 2 months ago, and I masturbate quite frequently.. so I guess that's why I'm not really understanding the problem.

It might be that the same old technique is just not working anymore. I would really really like some advice on this. Maybe just some techniques-stop to finish.. you know? I am just so frustrated with it. Please help! Thanks again Lixy

Hmmmmmmm? I hate to say this mmm_mmm_good, but this is becoming curiouser and curiouser.......but I do have a thought!

Sounds to me that, maybe since you've found such excitement and intensity from the powerful pulse of the vibrator......that you've lost the the "spot" of intense excitement from just the touch of your own hand! It's a typical enigma! Pardon the oxymoron........but, it was fitting here!

The feeling of manual masturbation is ever changing for me. I'm primarily right handed and yet there are rare moments when only my left hand will "get me there"! Visual stimulation in concurrence with manual stimulation is such a turn on.......yet there are times when one pic can "do it" and another, very similar pic, can make me shut down! Masturbation isn't really a scientific act in which slot A fits into slot B and there can be no other way to achieve the final result!

Experimentation and the process of elimination has helped me through the years (I am 45......in case you wondered.......don't be alarmed by that.....I am a very "young" 45....lol!).....and when something doesn't work.....I try something else. Maybe a small deviation.....but it's different none the less.

Whatever you do hun.......don't fret over this as if you are the only one to have this happen to you! Where there is good.......there always lurks the existence of bad! It's just how we handle the bad that makes it worse or better! If we've never known bad.......how would we know what good is?

Try something new.......turn over on your belly or read an erotic novel in one hand while roaming your body with the other, or take a warm bath before.......or ANYTHING different......and then try and manually stimulate yourself with slow, non-thought-out moves! Surprise yourself! Be loving to yourself! Just don't scold yourself for not adding up to expectations that you have but haven't achieved. It'll happen again.......just let youself let it happen!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

I have found that my body goes through different periods; sometimes only a vibrator will get me off; at other times, a vibrator is just too much and only manual stimulation will work. Sometimes I have trouble coming no matter what I use; and some of THOSE times, I find that switching to something else in my head will help. I can't come when I masturbate unless I am fantasizing, so at times changing what fantasy I am using does the trick. I also find that stimulating more than one erogenous zone at time helps me to get over that edge--such as G-spot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously.

I know how frustrating it can be. Right now I'm going through the same thing and have been for quite a few months. I don't know why I stop; once in a while I'll force myself to continue, but usually I stop and then try to start again. Usually, though, I will eventually come if I continue to try to light that "match." I guess that's where having a partner would be helpful; a partner would probably force us past that point where we, in solo sex, would stop.

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Communication is the key.

Alrighty ladies-thanks so much for your advice, I'll definitely try them, and let you know how they work!

BlueSwede-there is a lot of thruth in the statement about how a partner forces us past the point that we, a lot of times, won't allow ourselves to reach.

Thanks again-wish me luck!!

Any other advice is extremely welcome!