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  #1  
Old 05-31-2003, 06:36 AM
dicksbro's Avatar
dicksbro dicksbro is offline
Just me.
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
How to keep a healthy level of insanity

This was sent to me and I thought it was cute ...

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity......

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don’t use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
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  #2  
Old 05-31-2003, 09:22 AM
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Scarlett Scarlett is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The South
Posts: 3,731
How about going into the dressing room at Wal-Mart and saying through the closed door, " There's no toilet paper in here!"
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  #3  
Old 05-31-2003, 09:47 AM
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Steph Steph is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
LOL Discksbro and Scarlett

My boyfriend would actually page himself on the intercom all the time
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Old 05-31-2003, 10:13 AM
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Scarecrow Scarecrow is offline
Pixie since 9/3/2001
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
Wow I'll have to print this page so I can try some of them out.
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  #5  
Old 06-01-2003, 02:37 PM
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LixyChick LixyChick is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
ROFLMFAO! I read these to hubby! He snickered as I nearly pee'd myself. Ya think it would have been funnier to him had I actually pee'd? My funny bone is ticklier (my own word....shaddup!) than his!

Thanks db.....I've read these before but it's been a while! When I get visitors to my office and they are in and in the midst of conversation......I sometimes ask, "Did I say......come in?".....lmao!
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