A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

__________________
_______________________
*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

TY, LoveDiva. It's nice to be appreciated!

__________________
I wouldn't say that I'm always horny... it may be true, mind you, I just wouldn't say it!

We know stuff about tanks.

Our bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

When clicking through TV channels, We don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack us.

We can go to the bathroom without a support group.

We can kill our own food.

We get to think about sex 90 percent of our waking hours.

We get to jump up and slap stuff.

One mood, all the time.

We can admire Clint Eastwood without starving ourself to look like him.

With 400 million sperm per shot, we could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

We can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

Bachelor parties beat the shit out of bridal showers.

Someday we'll be a dirty old man.

We never have to miss a sexual opportunity because we're not in the mood.

If something mechanical doesn't work, we can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

Porn movies are designed with our mind in mind.

Our pals can be trusted never to trap you with: 'So... notice anything different?'

__________________

ROFLMFAO!!!!!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

HERE HERE !!

__________________
The Wombat : eats roots and leaves.

So far;just about everything;that I have seen listed;make me happy to be a man! Irish
P.S.You don't even have to blame your dog for your farts.Most guys;that I know;rate them 1-10!(loudness,sloppiness,smell;etc.)

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

Let's not forget:

Yes, we DO own the entire road.

Our eyes get more attention than our chests.

When you're the boss, you never have to prove it.

You don't give a damn about the new kid on the block.

You never, ever, take anything too seriously.

__________________
"Quando Flunkus Moritatii" (I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.) - the Red Green Show



The best thing about taking a vacation, is all the heartfelt huggs received upon your return. - Murphy

"The more you love, the more you CAN love. There's no limit to how much you can love - or how many" Lazarus Long in "Time Enough for Love" - Robert A. Heinlein

AN EXTREMELY GREAT POST! What a nice change from the usual! You rock Lovediva!

ALL THE BEST!!

It ain't all good...Love Diva.

1. I can never find ANYTHING!...especially keys.

2. I hate shopping...for anything.

3. I miss appointments...all the time.

4. Food cooked all in the same pot the way I cook....always tastes like crap.

5. I even screw up a salad.

6. I don't know how to empty the vaccuum cleaner without getting the crap that I just vaccuumed up all over the room again..

7. I never know how much detergent to put in the washer without getting bubbles all over the floor.

8. I can't set the timer on the video or the Microwave without the
manual...which I can never find.

9. Wimmin make me feel foolish and inadequate.

10. they're right....

__________________
Bronzed Aussie.

MMmmmmm.....

I just LOVE a man
who can admit his faults.....

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
*******************
My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

Bronzedozzy---If you don't vaccuum;you won't have to empty the
vaccuum cleaner! Irish
P.S.Saying that pisses my wife off-"A mans work;is never done!"

__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

LMAO!

__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson

The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain

~I love Nikki~