06-07-2004, 03:32 PM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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Friends with Benefits then Become Lovers?
So hey I was talkign the other day with this girl at work and she was telling me how she was just sick and tired of dating a guy around a few times only to find out that not only does it not go anywhere steamy, but he just winds up meeting some other girl and she is left alone and horny.
Her solution is that leatly she is just finding a guy she likes and jsut randomly has sex with him, but then well he just won't commit.
I confesed that I hve the same problem with women, and that the two times I had a serious relationship were both were with girls that I had started out being a freind with benefits and then wound up being their boyfirend and eventually fiancee in the case with my last gf. I just fell in love with them becuase after the sex I realized there was jsut a whole lot more to the relationship.
She was like see that's what I would love to happen, but she was told that love never happens that way. I said well I thought so until it happend to me twice.
So anyone else have a friend with benefits become lovers?
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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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06-07-2004, 05:59 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Deep in my imagination
Posts: 1,148
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I had a platonic friend, who became a friend w/sexual benefits, who eventually asked me to marry him. I think it helped that we knew each other well and were friends before we became sexually involved. He didn't ask me to marry him until he learned that someone else had asked me, and I guess he did a lot of serious thinking about our friendship.
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Communication is the key.
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06-07-2004, 06:07 PM
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Lusting Horny Pixie
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In your imagination
Posts: 4,292
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I would certainly love to find a friend with bene...
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06-07-2004, 07:21 PM
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gurly gurl
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Reality
Posts: 33,683
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I am too sensitive...I would fall in love.
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~Tainted Love~
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06-07-2004, 09:12 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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Have had friends with benefits, with and without love...both were nice...
Oh ~ and I tend to believe that friendship IS a type of love...
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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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06-07-2004, 11:42 PM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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Well it is good to know I am not the only one then.
I was brought up Southern Baptist and even though I have not been to a Southern Baptist Church in years and barely attnd my own Episcopalian church it is funny how I still have those beliefs that I have held on to sine a child.
Like how you can't have a relaionship based on sex so having sex with someone will ruin the relationship. The simple fact of the matter is that well even if you had sex with a person the first day meeting them, then later on find out they wewre junst an all around fine human being, then no harm no foul.
Likewise, sometimes you jsut have sex with people who just wanted to have sex with you no strings attached. Of course my problem is decerning whihc girls jsut wanted to be fuck buddies and which were falling in lvoe with me :-(
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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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06-08-2004, 12:47 AM
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Fallen
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: California
Posts: 312
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Quote:
Originally posted by osuche
Oh ~ and I tend to believe that friendship IS a type of love...
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I totally agree...as for me, I have had friends with benefits twice, currently in a relationship like this at the time, and couldn't be happier. Sure, maybe it would be nice to have a "conventional" relationship, but I will take what I can get.
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"And as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we'll play. And I know we can't all stay here forever, so I'll write, my words on the face of today...and then they'll paint it" - Shannon Hoon
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06-08-2004, 02:44 AM
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Mrs FussyPucker
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: England
Posts: 3,635
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Fussy and I started off as online friends, but then became online friends with online benefits, we then met up and became real life friends with benefits, and now we are living together and planning to marry.
In my opinion good relationships come from ones which start with a friendship - it means you get to know the person without being blinded by sexual attraction, status or the other things which come into the picture when you're 'dating'. I think relationships based on friendship are usually more honest and more respectful and are entered into more seriously as there is more at stake.
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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"
M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !
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06-08-2004, 09:31 AM
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Nice but never normal
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 920
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I've had one friends with benefits, suprisingly it worked out well. I knew she really liked me but I didn't want a relationship, so when she finally wanted to get into one we went our seperate ways. All of the others were my gf before we started anything.
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"...I won't be your winter...and I won't be anyones excuse to cry."
"Even heroes have the right to bleed."
"I'm wakin up at the start of the end of the world
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06-08-2004, 10:32 AM
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Freckle Face
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: TN
Posts: 409
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I had a Fuck buddy once....but it turned out he wanted a relationship with me and I didn't....we really aren't even friends anymore because of it. It's sad....but I couldn't reciprocate his feelings and it hurt him. I was up front with him from the beginning, but he still got emotionally attatched. I don't think I would do that again. It was pretty bad when it all ended and it's just too easy to confuse sex with a relationship.
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Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
~Bob Marley
His clothes are dirty, but his hands are clean; and you're the best thing that he's ever seen.
~Bob Dylan
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06-08-2004, 11:07 AM
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HornDawg Cowboy
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,678
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I think Sex among friends is wonderful. Love can sometimes complicate it but only if you let it. I have Loved and been Loved by some fantastic friends. (and we still talk ................ imagine that)
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06-12-2004, 04:53 AM
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~~Kinky Bitch~~
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ~~~Dela-Where???~~~
Posts: 2,144
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jeeping and i started as friends w benifits about 5 years ago got married 3 yrs ago ................ he was my only FWB i had fuck buddies before but thats dif, i really didntlike them in person but there was atraction and that was it , we hated each other wud go to each others place for a booty call then leave LOL was so dif w jeeping we actually liked each others company and like to be around each other , it just grew to be so much and no matter how muc i bitch about him i do luv him to death!
nikki
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06-12-2004, 05:07 PM
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Lost without a compass.
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Nowhere special
Posts: 5,888
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i need a friend with some benefits myself!
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hungry? why wait.....eat me.
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06-12-2004, 06:04 PM
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Wet Member
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 5,640
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I was friends with my hubby before we had sex....then it was friends with benefits...and then marraige...but I have had a lot of people just with benefits before that..some were not friends..just passing in the dark...
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Susan
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06-12-2004, 06:10 PM
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MMM, do it to me again.
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Atlanta metro, Ga USA
Posts: 214
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i have a friend with benefits, but i have fallen in love with him. and i told him so, and after about 3 months, he told me he loved me too. we're both married to other people, and he will not leave his wife as he loves her too. but he does know how i feel. if he hadn't payed such special attention to me and treated me just like a sex toy, i probably would of never fallen for him, but he was and always has been very sweet and loving, and i fell head over heels...
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All the beauty of nature can be found in a single butterfly.
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