Last night on the ten news I saw towards the end a report on the attitude towards porn, whether it be from an adult shop or online.
If anyone saw it then you would know what I am talking about.

There was a survey carried out but I only got part of it.

76% of people are not offended by porn.

The other one was about something else that was also related to it.

Now my partner and I got into a discussion about how porn can cause a relationship to fall apart. Well I told her that it wasn’t necessarily the porn itself but the attitude towards it from different parties. Let me explain and I do hope that this is taken in the correct merits.

Ok, this is from a guy’s point of view. Now the average guy works from 9.00 until 5.00 sometimes later. Now this is based on the normal family that has the guy working and the mum at home with kids. He gets home about 2 hours after because of traffic etc. So we are looking at 7.00pm. By this stage the woman is tired from looking after the kids all day and has finished cooking dinner and has her partner’s food either on the plate in the oven staying warm or it is glad wrapped to be reheated in the microwave. That or she has feed the kids and put them to bed and is waiting for him to get home so they can have dinner together. Anyway after dinner they sit down and watch some TV or she goes to bed depending on how tired she is. Now at one point or another the guy will be in bed with his partner and will get adventurous. The woman turns him down due to her being dead tired and the last thing she wants to do is play insert object A into slot B. Now say this continues for a week or longer, as a result of this the guy is pushed into a corner and there is only one option and outlet. For a better choice of words, he takes matters into his own hands. Now there is nothing wrong with this. However from what my partner has told me, when porn rears it’s ugly head women jump the gun and think that he is cheating on her, would rather watch porn than be with her etc. Some of it is probably true to a point. But none of it is. He is after all lying in your bed at the end of the day. Most guys have there ego get in the way, which is the cause of most problems if not all between couples. Now if a guy was like me, as in I am a single parent myself with an 8 year old boy, I work unusual hours and my partner looks after my son while I work. By the time I get home I want to go to bed. Now if she were to get a bit friendly in bed and I wasn’t in the mood and said no every night for a month then she of course would get a little edgy. No I am not justifying why guys watch porn, I am just showing you that it is different when the shoe is on the other foot as they say, but nobody thinks of that. As I said about the guy’s ego, most guys have no idea how to handle getting caught in the act watching porn or for that matter the woman finding said material on PC or in the draw. He blows up and all hell breaks loose. Therein lies the problem. The girl is angry and wants to know why, as a result she attacks her partner and he goes on the defensive and says she is being paranoid etc. She tells him where to go and that is the end of said couple. The issue comes down to one thing and one thing only, communication or lack thereof and not just on the mans part, but also his partner’s for not allowing him to explain his actions. Not that there is much to explain when one is watching porn and has a tent pole in his pants.

Anyway as I stated I hope this doesn’t cause a ruckus in here and allows more insight or perhaps open people’s views a bit from different sides. After all us poor blokes don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to this sort of thing, because people are so anti-porn that it is taking the fun out of being with your partner to begin with.

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There are a LOT of generalisations in that theory.

In our house, until my maternity leave started two weeks ago we both worked and I got home an hour or so after him, then usually cooked dinner, went shopping, watched TV, talked to my family on the phone etc etc. and obviously in the last 7 months this has all been while pregnant. However still it is me who complains about not having enough sex, which I put down to him not being physically attracted to me. This has been something of an issue since before I was pregnant but since the appearance of bump/stretch marks etc has definitely got worse. I imagine I watch more porn and masturbate more than he does, and I would say, although it is in my nature to be more sexually adventurous than him, it is definitely an 'outlet' rather than my preferred method of sexual release. He, on the other hand, still masturbates (presumably!) and I'm sure still uses pornography, however he NEVER approaches me for sex. For this reason, my already heightened-by-being-pregnant insecurities are even more so, as I'm pretty sure he's not looking at slightly overweight pregnant brunettes with cellulite and stretch marks for his gratification.

Me being me, I don't blame him for this, but I would be lying if I said I was completely happy with the situation. I agree that communication is often a problem in relationships, although in our case, do you think I'd be posting this on a thread he may well read if I hadn't already made my feelings clear to him?! As far as I'm concerned he could watch all the porn in the world and masturbate 9 times a day, as long as he was still having sex with me, but when one takes precendent over the other, THAT'S when women get pissed off. When men are upstairs on the computer watching porn (which is NOT the case in this house, by the way) rather than playing with their kids, helping out with household responsibilities or spending quality time with their wives which may well end up leading to sex, that's when women resent porn.

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Well said lou. I have put the same thing up on other forums and thas is by far the most mature and concise response by far. I only generalized it based on the typical family with the guy working. There are different families with the mum working and the dad at home with the kids I do know that. I was using a broad spectrum as an example. I hope other's give an educated answer like yours.

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I am. I know I have quite the goofball reputation and can be sarcastic & quite humorous in real life, but this is sincere. Were you to post anything at all right now...I'd be all over it like white on rice.

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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Yep, same.

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Lou,

Your insecurities are your own, your property, your problems, your challenges.

The glitz of commercial porn is a bit like car commercials, you look and know that there almost no connection with the real world.

"slightly overweight pregnant brunettes with cellulite and stretch marks " with jollies on their mind are much more realistic, but perhaps too close to the bone for some.

The body is the shell for the sexy mind, and you need to see (and live) past the
shell.

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Bless you boys and thanks.

I was simply using my own situation as an example to point out why women resent men using pornography, by pointing out that not all men are 'forced into a corner' where porn is their only outlet because of an ungenerous wife. There may well be just as many women forced into that corner due to an uninterested husband.

Unfortunately, because of society's view that men are only ever 'interested in one thing' it's incredibly difficult to accept that your husband doesn't want to have sex with you. It's not considered 'the normal' even though it probably is normal, and makes women in this position internalise their feelings.

A man whose wife is not interested in sex may reach the conclusion that his wife is cold or ungenerous, but a woman whose husband is not interested does not reach the same conclusion. She reaches the conclusion that she is unattractive, particularly when he still seemingly has an interest in sex which does not include her (i.e. watching porn). The fact that porn is far flung from reality only makes a woman feel that the reality of sex with them is not good enough for their husband.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

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I think that it is because so much of porn these days is airbrushed, and some women do not realize that.

So when there partner watches porn they feel insecure about themselves as the people on the porn videos are sexy, adventurous. Some women that I know do not feel comfortable performing certain acts with there partner and when there partner goes to watch porn I have found in my own experience that males usually watch the porn relating to what there not getting at home, or in the bedroom. Now I am not saying that this is all men or even women as a matter of fact, but from what I have seen this plays a big part in why people feel insecure about there partners watching it.

A very good friend of mine will not and refuses to try anal for her own reasons, she does not mind it if her partner watches porn but she absolutely hates it when he watches porn that includes anal, because it does make her feel insecure.

I hope that I have made sense

I think that's a very good point hot-vids.

It goes with what the boys were saying here about an element of fantasy in porn. It's far removed from real life experience and therefore it can satisfy a need not being met by the viewer's partner.

Probably for this reason, girl on girl porn is popular as by its definition it is not something that most guys will get to experience first hand, so to speak.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Lou. as I stated the main issue is communication. Most men want to try different things i.e. anal with their partner, or a proper blowjob. The same is try the other way as well with women wanting to try different things. There are some things that women won't do as stated by hot-vids about certain acts. I know of some women who haven't tried anal or given a bj simply because they don't want to or like it. The thing is, that unless you try it first you can't really say that you don't like it or want to do it. If you try it and you find it is not for you, then ok fair enough. Your partner backs down and they also realise that it can't be done. There is no harm in trying and most people are uptight or insecure because in the porn movies, mags etc, the girls take it up the rear without a second thought. So it has the negative effect of girls thinking that is what they are meant to be able to do with their partner. They also know the size of their partner and think "ouch I can't get that thing in there." So they say "no can do" to their partner. So then the cycle starts, he looks at porn with things that he can't do with his partner. She sees that and gets insecure and gets angry, upset etc and he thinks that she is having "one of her moments" and brushes it off/ignores it.

There was a saying that I remember, don't knock it until you have tried it. Most people in pixies have tried everything under the sun, within reason. There are some who are new to sex and it's many posibilites and as such are scared about certain details/things. So when one of their friends tries something and likes it they think they have to as well. Then they do try it and one of many things happen:a) It is a disaster because the person they do it with, is rough/rushes it etc and only worries about themselves, b) they end up liking it so much they want more and it gets to the point it becomes an addiction, c)it hurts so much they never want to try it again d)they do it and feel no different and they think it was a waste of time.

That is not to say that everyone is like that. It is just some scenarios to look at.

Anyway enough ranting for now.......

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My stories
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Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
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I love cunnilingus.

I've delved into my love for it in previous posts so I won't bore you with the sweaty, tasty, velvety & musky details.

I don't just bring this up because I love to say it...but as an example to offer an alternative viewpoint regarding porn. My love for anything cunnilingus extends, naturally, to my porn viewing preferences. Though I seek out and enjoy a variety of different subject matters...my favorite by far is cunnlingus. Seeing long & graphic displays of it brings me right into the scene. I can almost feel it, smell it and taste it. My tongue twitches because it wants to reach out and lick. I want to caress the slick folds of your labia. I want to flick it across your clit. I want to catch the cum oozing from you.








I want a cold shower!



And that notwithstanding...



Lou's pics would be nice too.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.