Is it just my observation, or does it happen in many long standing relationships/marriages where sex becomes a means of bartering. It seems to become a device or means of getting something someone in the relatiosnship wants.

I often wonder if it actually works. Or when that happens does it change the nature of sex. Does sex just become another household chore, or a means of payment or payoff? A reward?

Are there real benefits I'm missing in my observation, and does everyone always keep their end of the bargain?

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Sexual relationships are almost never in perfect balance, but if the couple are happy, so what.

Sexual barter, the old "mow the lawn and we'll have sex later" is a little too manipulative for my taste.

That is, of course, unless it's that cute Mrs Peterson down in No34, you know, the one whose husband just ran off with his butler.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I'll admit, I've done it......
I HATE HATE HATE cleaning my closet, but yet I HATE HATE HATE when it gets all messy. I have a hard time reaching the top rack to get hangers off of it. So, one day when I was real pissy {hahah one day....I crack myself up} I said, "honey if you get all the empty hangers down, I'll give you a 15 minute BJ". DAMN to my surprise it worked. Except it backfired......I had to split it up into a couple different days. HA HA

There was a time when we would have sex "just to", here lately it is a "want to" and it feels so much better now.

We've been together for 17 years and married for 10.

Would'nt know, don't use sex to barter. Sex is for...........SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would'nt use sex to barter, it would bring something wonderful to a lower level.

Is a "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" in order?

If so, congratulations!

hell ya i have LOL!!! not much since ive met hubby but back in my teens id barter all the time LMAO , thing that the guys i was dating didnt know was they really didnt have to accept the offer to get some LOL!!! ida had sex with them anyways LMAO!!

~nikki

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Ravage Me!

Me Time
Long Lonley Night
Tied Up
Teased

http://thesmashedfairy.blogspot.com/

I personally don't do it because I think it does change the nature of sex. My husband (who I've been with 18 years and married for 13 years, and no anniversay until August) does use it. If I ask him to do something he always wants to know what's in it for him.

For instance, if I mention I need my oil changed he mentions he needs a blow job, as if it's a payment. I think it hinders the spontenaity of sex within the relationship, and lowers it to a chore vs. pleasure where I feel it should be maintained.

Mind you his idea of foreplay is, "Can I do ya?"

And no I don't recall how it got this way, or even if it always was this way. But it doesn't sit well with me. I have deeper needs than a "can I do ya?" or "You owe me sex for watching the kids." Excuse me, I thought that was called parenting.

Ending ranting vent now.

I was just curious if others share this observation of bartering sex or if it's as common as I think.

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no bartering in my house...l my wife gives me sex every friday night
every friday night that falls on the 29th of february

I dont ever recall bartering for something. I am to submissive in asking for what I want most of the time...Now here lately I am getting bolder and starting to speak for myself (I figured no one else is going to). If I want sex then I want sex and I will make the first move but it goes both ways.

But if it has to do with chores...If you want it done do it yourself and that way it never comes into play.

I agree with soda sex is for the pure pleasure of sex-wether it be of a physical or more emotional need. Anything else would be wrong.

Natalie

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

Mrs. WI once offered me a handjob if I'd make her a scrambled egg on a toasted bagel. To me, it's all about the attitude. She was funny about it and it was goofy. If she'd been serious, I'd have probably given her crap about it...
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.the whole time I was cooking.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

"Barter this" makes me think of a line out of a star trek movie, I think it was titled "star trek: first contact". Anyway there is a scene in the movie where Worf is on the plasma dish outside the enterprise. He is with a few of the other crew and they are fighting the borg. A borg is standing over him and he says "Assimilate this" and shoots the borg into space. Bloody funny at the time.

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My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie

yep we have, but like wi, we do it as a joke.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I was living with a guy for about a year & I asked him politely to remove his gigantic stinky socks from our small living room.

"For a blowjob," he said.

It wasn't funny to me but that was probably because we were already having problems. If you're in a healthy relationship, bartering should be light-hearted & should make the recipient feel light-hearted (& horny!).

My wife and I don't use sex to barter, but we do bet with sexual favors. For instance, she'll say, "What chick movie was that guy from Gray's Anatomy recently in?" I say Sweet Home Alabama, she says My Best Friend's Wedding. I'll say, "Anal sex if I'm right." She'll say, "No sex-just cuddling and talking if I'm right."

We always do it in fun, and never for stakes the other wouldn't object to doing- too terribly anyway.

I don't think we've ever done it...and it's not in my best interests to suggest the trend.....or I'll end up with all his chores AND mine.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney