my girlfriend and i have been dating for almost four years. but before me, she was with two other guys. she had "sex" with both of them, but they got off before full penetration, so she i guess she never broke her hymen. but we have sex and it still feels like she is super tight, like a virgin still. i have no problem, but to see her in pain everytime we make love is almost unbearable. we have tried multiple times in one day every day of the week, and she still reamains virgin like. the only time she wasn't super tight was when she was pregnant(more "loose in the first two trimesters and "normal de-virgin" in the third trimester). is this "normal" or common. she is 1/4 black, 1/4 jewish heritage and 1/2 french-canadian-american. my penis is 7 1/2 long and 2 1/4 thick. i don't know why or can't see why i haven't "popped her cherry". help would be greatly appreciated. post or e-mail me with the subject EKR at

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jeremy

If she's had a baby, then I can assure you that the hymen is no longer in place, so it's not a case of 'popping her cherry'.

If she's in pain, are you sure she's well enough lubricated when you enter her, and are you doing so slowly and gently? Does she get anxious before sex anticipating the pain that she's going to feel?

All of these things make a difference, so you need to make sure she's 100% aroused before entering her. Don't do it until she's absolutely begging you to, and you're sure she's absolutely soaking wet. You can of course use a lubricant to help with this but artificial lubrication doesn't necessarily mean that she's properly sexually aroused and if her muscles aren't relaxed it will still be painful for her. Let her set the pace, even if it means concentrating on foreplay, oral, etc without having penetrative intercourse for a while, so that she can stay more relaxed without the anxiety of knowing she is going to be in pain later on.

The 'techniques' you've tried so far, will only serve to make her pain worse, as she'll become sore from all of the friction of having sex so often rather than being 'stretched' (which is something of a myth by the way). The aim of the game is to relax her muscles, not force them apart.

Women also ecperience pain during intercourse sometimes if they are suffering from Thrush (a yeast infection) or if they are subjected to long periods of sexual arousal without achieving orgasm....there's a term for it but I can't remember what it's called!

All in all, you need to be sensitive to her situation and make sure her needs are being met, as well as your own. If you're doing all this already and she's still in pain, it may be worth a trip to her doctors to make sure it's nothing medical that's causing her discomfort.

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I didn't see any mention in your post about foreplay to try and get her more in the mood. If you are doing a lot of foreplay and she still is too tight there is nothing wrong with using some water based lube to help things along. Astroglide works great for this.