I wasn't going to do this today. After all, it's been 22 years already! But I woke this morning and I couldn't shake this looming feeling. It is an anniversary that no one wants to hold in remembrance...but we do.

I am over the pity party...I am over the need to hear the sympathy...I am over the anger...I am over the feeling of being lost in this big world...I am over most of it. But, I am not over the greed of wanting her back...if just for a moment...to say I love you soooooooooooo much and to say I am sorry for being such a shithead at times...and to tell her THANK YOU for giving me life!!!

Let me tell you a little bit about my mother. Caroline was a pip! She had quirks and psycological needs that'd make your head swim. But she was kind, and loving and funny, and had a more open mind than anyone I have ever met...EVER! She had insight into the future...but I'm sure she'd still be in awe of just how far we've come in 22 years. She had limitations because of her religious upbringing and following...but she could suddenly come out of herself and shock you with a snippet of sexual inuendo that would make her giggle and you blush! She sacrificed her own basic comforts for her 5 children...but never blamed us for her sacrifices...instead, taught us that that's what parenting means. She was both Mom and Dad...when Dad failed to live up to his end of the deal. She cried when things were so very funny...and she'd lighten a sad moment with a silver lining story. She was the perfect role model for "how NOT to direct your life", and she did it with such grace and flair that you'd swear she had the answers but just never thought to ask the questions! That was my Mom...that was Caroline...and I miss her as if she had died yesterday!

I talked with two of my sisters today, and they both said the same thing to me. What is it about this particular anniversary? It's been 22 years for crying out loud! How is that a landmark number? All I could think of is...it's landmark because it's for Mom!

I share a lot here at Pixies...and I just wanted to share my mood of this day as well. I don't need any pity (as I said, I'm over that). I actually don't need anything from you guys (my 2nd family) except for you to read about the woman I've been thinking bout most today!

TY for your indulgence!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy ... I know she was a remarkable woman .... because her legacy in you is so remarkable! My mom is still here and I love her dearly, I've lost others from this life, but the thought of not having her around, well I don't like to think about it, but I'm here to offer support and love and anything else that might make this day a bit easier today and for all the years (and I hope you have MANY of them) to come.

((((fzzy))))

I've always appreciated your words for the expression of true caring I can literally feel behind them! It eases me just to know that you've read and understand!

Seems we'll be here for a long time to come...and that's a comfort, to know our friendship has longevity!!!!! TY sweety!

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy, thanks for sharing your Mom with us. Great story and a great gift to you and your family.

(((Lixy)))



rabbit

Thanks Lixy Darlin', that brought a tear to my eye Hon. She must've been one helluva lady.. she raised one of my favorite people! I understand missing someone special.

__________________
As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

((((((((Lixy))))))) I can't say I know how you feel but I do know that someday I most likely will. Sending thoughts of comfort and nourishment for your soul.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

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(((Lixy))) ~ The feeling of sadness and loss never goes away. Some days it is worse than others. The best you can do is remember the good times, and cherish her spirit. Your mom sounds like a remarkable woman....thank you for sharing a little bit of her.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Your mom sounds like my mom. Mom's are great ladies!!! Hope mine will be around for many more years to come. However I do miss my dad, wish he could have seen my daughter.

*Huggs*

It's nearly 10 years since I lost my mum, but I see reflections of her in

my brother and sisters (not me) and her grandkids.

Good to see you've held her memory close.

Write down as much as you can (names and dates) so the next generation can know

her as deeply and well.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Maybe because "22" was so important to her.

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She sounds just like my mom too. Thank you for the remembrance and the reminder that I should make the most of the time I still have with my mother. ((((((((((((((Lixy))))))))))))))

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((((((((((Lixy)))))))))

Thank YOU. That was so beautiful; my eyes are full of tears now. x

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))



~nikki

__________________
Ravage Me!

Me Time
Long Lonley Night
Tied Up
Teased

http://thesmashedfairy.blogspot.com/

Hugs to you all...(((fzzy, rabbit, BigBear, Lilith, Sharni, osuche, sodaklostsoul, Oldfart, PantyFanatic, Galatea, Loulabelle, nikki)))...

I was having a moment and I knew I could share it here and be understood! You guys are wonderful and I love you all!

And...something interesting just dawned on me. I said in my earlier post that I had talked with two of my sisters yesterday. I have 3 sisters living and my brother is dead. The one sister I couldn't get hold of is my mother's namesake...Caroline. She has 5 children as well...1 boy and 4 girls. Ohhhhh...I'm just thinking out loud again, I guess! Hmmmmm.........

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~