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  #1  
Old 06-30-2004, 01:11 PM
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skyler_m skyler_m is offline
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Simple Rules...

Here are some simple rules that Men would like Women to understand....


Simple Rules Chicks Don't Know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~
1. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blow job in the morning.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Don't make us guess.
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.
11. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect
us to like it.
16. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark
anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Share the bathroom.
20. Share the closet.
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
23. Nothing says 'I love you' like a blowjob in the morning.
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
25. Check your oil.
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
29. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
30. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
31. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we
know how pretty you are?
32. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come
out.
33.You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you
want it done -- not both.
34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
35. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither
do we.
36. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
37. When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto
the off-ramp, you saying, "This is our exit," is not strictly necessary.
38. Nothing says 'I love you' quite like a blowjob in the
morning.


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  #2  
Old 06-30-2004, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.


I don't care who you are, I don't care how good you are. I'd rather have the cat than you. There's the door.

Bring that dog in this house, and you and the dog will be sitting on the kerb. You can thumb for a hitch hike probably about the time you can extract both arms from all the way up your ass where I shoved them.

Other than that, it's all god, it's all good.
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  #3  
Old 06-30-2004, 01:35 PM
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I like cats better than dogs myself, but I think someone needs a little anger management. Or at least a cup of coffee. Or something.
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  #4  
Old 06-30-2004, 01:36 PM
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lol. something, definitely!
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  #5  
Old 06-30-2004, 01:38 PM
sweetlady sweetlady is offline
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LOL, sore spot for me. Single woman, two cats, I take all kinds of shit for it. Gets really annoying. And I dislike dogs. All dogs. I don't mind licking and drooling, but not from my animal, thanks... well, not the four legged animal, anyhow!
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  #6  
Old 06-30-2004, 02:24 PM
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Hey I'll back you up on #36.


Of course you are more likely to get that blow job if you lick me til I cream and fall asleep exhausted the night before. Nothing says "I'd like a morning blowjob" better than a goodnight kitty kiss
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  #7  
Old 06-30-2004, 02:27 PM
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Lilith - just say when. oral is by far my favorite. *s*
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  #8  
Old 06-30-2004, 02:44 PM
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Thumbs up

After 39yrs of marriage & two daughters,I have to agree with
almost everything! Irish
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  #9  
Old 06-30-2004, 02:51 PM
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so, and i'm just guessing here, but nothing says "i love you" like a bj in the morning? could that possibly be true? do guys really like blowjobs THAT much? i just can't believe it! i guess i'll have to experiment to find out for myself.
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  #10  
Old 06-30-2004, 02:55 PM
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start with me wyndhy...

My wife gave me a random BJ the other day. Completely wasn't expecting anything. Yes, I think i like them that much.
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Old 06-30-2004, 03:43 PM
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Ok I'll get in line for wyndhy..... just so she can find out of course!

Oh wyndhy....... how much would you like having me lick long, slow circles in and around your kitty? Would you like me to do it often?

Yep yep, we like magic tongues too..LOL
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  #12  
Old 06-30-2004, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by wyndhy
so, and i'm just guessing here, but nothing says "i love you" like a bj in the morning? could that possibly be true? do guys really like blowjobs THAT much? i just can't believe it! i guess i'll have to experiment to find out for myself.


It's true!
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  #13  
Old 06-30-2004, 07:50 PM
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hhmmmmm...that explains so much......
so he wants a bj in the morning huh???? Well, I will work on that and get back to you....does that mean I'll get a nice lickin' in the morning too? mmmm
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  #14  
Old 06-30-2004, 08:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by skyler_m
start with me wyndhy...


okay..but you hafta hold real still
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  #15  
Old 06-30-2004, 08:58 PM
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wyndhy wyndhy is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Coaster
Oh wyndhy....... how much would you like having me lick long, slow circles in and around your kitty?



uh, lemme think...... LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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