Top 8 Morons of 2003

> > 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John
Walter
> after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a
> $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
> intelligence.
> >
> > 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two
> hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his
> home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man
> was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out
and
> > give yourself up."
> >
> > 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
kidnapped
> a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
> machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
> bank accounts.
> >
> > 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked
for
> all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so
he
> tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
until
> police showed up and grabbed him.
> >
> > 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery
> suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives
> asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money
or
> I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".
> >
> > 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My
> wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is
this
> her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her
> husband!"
> >
> > 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard
King
> was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a
> weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately,
he
> failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!
> >
> > 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in
the
> high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating,
> were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get
> their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every
> > maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of
> trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone
> there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
> revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the
> out-
> > drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and
pitch.
> So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He
came
> up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
> >
> > NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
> >
> > Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

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If someone offers a penny for your thoughts and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny??

Don’t let the hardship of the past, take away from the joy of the present

Yes.

Yes they are.

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yeah people are just that stupid, around where i am awhile ago some guy left his wallet at the store he tried to rob after he bought something........needless to say they got him a few hours later.

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"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck

Love the second one...

Reminds me of the movie Grumpy Old Men. At the end they show outakes and bloopers and Walter Matthau is waving goodbye to the limo carrying Jack Lemmon and Ann Margret to their honeymoon. Lemmon walks up behind Matthau and asks him what's going on......The look on his face is priceless!

I remember the Grumpy old Men movies.I loved the Burgess Merideth outtakes.Talk about priceless....heh heh

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller

haha, i've heard about the boat and the trailer on a different site,

scary isn't it

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

and to think that these same people are allowed to vote

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

Oh no! LMAO!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Vote, hell...these people shouldn't be able to reproduce...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

People are that stupid .Had some folks across the street that was cheap entertainment .Seems his car wont start one day so he hooked up a 20 foot chain to tow it to the station by himself. Made it about 1 block before it whipped up in a ladys front yard and took out a small tree.

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The mind never forgets what the hands have learned