
06-03-2004, 10:26 PM
|
 |
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
|
|
Idiots
> Number One Idiot of 2003
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
> the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
> bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2003
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
> a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
> of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
> river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2003
>
> A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
> of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
> your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
> to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
> note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So
> he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After!
> ; waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
> wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
> accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
> deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
> deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
> the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he
> was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Four Idiot of 2003
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
> of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
> bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
> on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The
> robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
> looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put
> the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
> the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
> hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign!
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number FIVE of 2003
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nerv! ously wa ving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
> the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he
> probably figured it out himself.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2003
>
> Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
> throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
> run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
> window The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the
> head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
> made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that
> smarts.
>
> Give him his sign.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2003
>
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun
> and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
> couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> Sign please.
>
> Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
> Scary, isn't it?!
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
|

06-03-2004, 10:30 PM
|
 |
gurly gurl
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Reality
Posts: 33,683
|
|
HAHHAHA Loved it!!!
__________________
~Tainted Love~
|

06-03-2004, 10:58 PM
|
 |
1 of 8,213,984,035
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,538
|
|
Quote:
...Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote. Scary, isn't it?!
|
VERY!
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
|

06-03-2004, 11:22 PM
|
Lost without a compass.
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Nowhere special
Posts: 5,888
|
|
HO-LY
CR-AP!
__________________
hungry? why wait.....eat me.
|

06-04-2004, 05:39 AM
|
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
|
|
Irish,
Very good. Thank you.
Yeah, Ya gotta luv democracy.
__________________
Eudaimonia
|

06-04-2004, 10:06 AM
|
 |
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Coastal foothills of Willamette Valley
Posts: 185
|
|
Our next generation of leaders ...
Don't allow these people to breed.
|

06-04-2004, 10:14 AM
|
 |
HornDawg Cowboy
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,678
|
|
Isn't there a place we could send people? (farfar away!!!!!)
__________________
|

06-04-2004, 10:24 AM
|
 |
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
|
|
Unfortunately,"involuntary" sterilization" has been found to be
illegal! Irish
P.S.Nothing is illegal,unless you get caught!
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
|

06-04-2004, 02:12 PM
|
 |
Nice but never normal
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: USA
Posts: 920
|
|
I didn't think you could vote if you were a convicted fellon. And most of those attempted crimes fit into that catagory.
__________________
"...I won't be your winter...and I won't be anyones excuse to cry."
"Even heroes have the right to bleed."
"I'm wakin up at the start of the end of the world
|

06-04-2004, 03:03 PM
|
 |
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
|
|
Nice Guy---I'm a convicted felon(aggravated assault)In NH(not sure,about other states)you can get something called a Record
Annulment!I had it done,a few years ago.It cost me $300.I carry,
a copy,in my wallet.When you get it done,they are supposed to
notify,the Attorney General(state & federal)the FBI,the police in the town,you were arrested in,the police where you live now,etc.
After getting it,you can apply for a job,etc, & say that you don't have a record.I didn't beleive it,so I reapplied for a concealed
weapons permit(FBI records check)!I got it,so I knew that it was
erased everywhere! Irish
P.S.I turned it in later.I "officially" closed my business,so I really
don't need it,anymore!
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
|

06-04-2004, 04:17 PM
|
 |
♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
|
|
In Fl last election somehow like 2,000 did...wonder which way those chads hung???
|

06-04-2004, 04:41 PM
|
 |
~figment of imagination~
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: hot sticky wet south
Posts: 2,310
|
|
Lilith, as you know, my husband is a convicted Felon and is a registered voter in the State of Florida! They ask when you apply if you are and he always had said yes. Since we moved he had to go to the official office and get his there. He did and they have given him his new card.
He has tried with getting his record ex-sponged. Because it dealt with violence he was unable. Now he is trying to apply for clemency. ((messing up when you are 18 does follow you <-- just FYI for the younger members))
|

06-04-2004, 05:35 PM
|
Guest
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 888
|
|
Quote:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.
|
I believe this guy was on one of those "World's dumbest criminals" or some such show
|

06-04-2004, 06:31 PM
|
 |
1 of 8,213,984,035
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,538
|
|
Are those arguments for Plato’s Republic?
(I can’t wait to see 2004’s list.) 
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
|

06-04-2004, 10:24 PM
|
 |
Registered User
|
|
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
|
|
Quote:
Originally posted by naughtyangel
I believe this guy was on one of those "World's dumbest criminals" or some such show
|
naughtyangel---When I read that,I remembered something about
it myself!It sounded familiar.I think that you are right!One show,
that I catch sometimes at lunchtime,has a segment,at the close,
of the show,called Dumb Criminals.The stupid things that they do,
are almost unbelievable! Irish
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
|
Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
Display Modes |
Rate This Thread |
Linear Mode
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:03 PM.
|