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  #1  
Old 06-03-2004, 10:26 PM
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Irish Irish is offline
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Talking Idiots

> Number One Idiot of 2003
>
> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
> the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
> conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
> bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
>
> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Two Idiot of 2003
> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
> a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
> of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
> river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
> turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> employed at Boeing.
>
> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Three Idiot of 2003
>
> A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
> of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all
> your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note
> to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
> note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So
> he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After!
> ; waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
> wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
> accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
> deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
> deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
> the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he
> was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
>
> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Number Four Idiot of 2003
>
> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
> of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
> bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
> on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
> cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The
> robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
> driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk
> looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put
> the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
> The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
> the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two
> hours later.
>
> This guy definitely needs a sign!
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number FIVE of 2003
>
> A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nerv! ously wa ving
> revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
> the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he
> probably figured it out himself.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Six of 2003
>
> Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
> throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
> run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
> window The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the
> head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
> made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that
> smarts.
>
> Give him his sign.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
>
> Idiot Number Seven of 2003
>
> Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun
> and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
> couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> Sign please.
>
> Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
> Scary, isn't it?!
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  #2  
Old 06-03-2004, 10:30 PM
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HAHHAHA Loved it!!!
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  #3  
Old 06-03-2004, 10:58 PM
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Quote:
...Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote. Scary, isn't it?!


VERY!
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  #4  
Old 06-03-2004, 11:22 PM
Mercury_Maniac Mercury_Maniac is offline
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HO-LY

CR-AP!
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  #5  
Old 06-04-2004, 05:39 AM
jseal jseal is offline
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Irish,

Very good. Thank you.


Yeah, Ya gotta luv democracy.
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  #6  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:06 AM
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Our next generation of leaders ...

Don't allow these people to breed.
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  #7  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:14 AM
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quisath quisath is offline
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Isn't there a place we could send people? (farfar away!!!!!)
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  #8  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:24 AM
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Question

Unfortunately,"involuntary" sterilization" has been found to be
illegal! Irish
P.S.Nothing is illegal,unless you get caught!
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  #9  
Old 06-04-2004, 02:12 PM
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Nice Guy Nice Guy is offline
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I didn't think you could vote if you were a convicted fellon. And most of those attempted crimes fit into that catagory.
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  #10  
Old 06-04-2004, 03:03 PM
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Nice Guy---I'm a convicted felon(aggravated assault)In NH(not sure,about other states)you can get something called a Record
Annulment!I had it done,a few years ago.It cost me $300.I carry,
a copy,in my wallet.When you get it done,they are supposed to
notify,the Attorney General(state & federal)the FBI,the police in the town,you were arrested in,the police where you live now,etc.
After getting it,you can apply for a job,etc, & say that you don't have a record.I didn't beleive it,so I reapplied for a concealed
weapons permit(FBI records check)!I got it,so I knew that it was
erased everywhere! Irish
P.S.I turned it in later.I "officially" closed my business,so I really
don't need it,anymore!
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  #11  
Old 06-04-2004, 04:17 PM
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In Fl last election somehow like 2,000 did...wonder which way those chads hung???
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  #12  
Old 06-04-2004, 04:41 PM
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Lilith, as you know, my husband is a convicted Felon and is a registered voter in the State of Florida! They ask when you apply if you are and he always had said yes. Since we moved he had to go to the official office and get his there. He did and they have given him his new card.

He has tried with getting his record ex-sponged. Because it dealt with violence he was unable. Now he is trying to apply for clemency. ((messing up when you are 18 does follow you <-- just FYI for the younger members))
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  #13  
Old 06-04-2004, 05:35 PM
naughtyangel naughtyangel is offline
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Quote:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.


I believe this guy was on one of those "World's dumbest criminals" or some such show
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  #14  
Old 06-04-2004, 06:31 PM
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Are those arguments for Plato’s Republic?




(I can’t wait to see 2004’s list.)
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PANTIES
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"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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  #15  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:24 PM
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Question

Quote:
Originally posted by naughtyangel
I believe this guy was on one of those "World's dumbest criminals" or some such show

naughtyangel---When I read that,I remembered something about
it myself!It sounded familiar.I think that you are right!One show,
that I catch sometimes at lunchtime,has a segment,at the close,
of the show,called Dumb Criminals.The stupid things that they do,
are almost unbelievable! Irish
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