
01-23-2004, 01:16 PM
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Banned
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Points to ponder
The first one cracked me up as I thought of DB's recent 'puter troubles:
~Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
~Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
~Why doesn't toothpaste ever go rotten?
~Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?
~Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
~How come when you first pull the drapery cord the drapes always move
the wrong way?
~Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner reach down, pick it up, examine it then put it down to
give their vacuum one more chance?
~Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
~How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
~Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not
then what was the purpose of the bath?
~Considering all the lint you get in your dryer if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
~When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a
shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all
right"? It isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you
stupid idiot"!
~What is the point of brick wallpaper?
~Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
~Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
~How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
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01-23-2004, 01:29 PM
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~~Kinky Bitch~~
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: ~~~Dela-Where???~~~
Posts: 2,144
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ROFPMSL thats to good!!! all of that hit way to close to home!!!spec the clean house dead PC one!!!!
~nikki
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01-23-2004, 11:49 PM
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Booger Lama
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,552
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lol steph those are so true
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whip me, beat me, tie me up, break my arm, but please don't break my heart
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01-24-2004, 12:03 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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LMAO...cute
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01-24-2004, 10:10 AM
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Everybody Stretch!
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Location: Pa. USA
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OMG! Too funny!
And....when you drop a piece of buttered toast....the buttered side will, most assuredly, hit the floor!
Or.....Do we really need directions on shampoo bottles?
Also.....Why is abbreviation such a long word?
And the ever popular......*Let them be the one to get food poisoning...theory* Taste this! (as you're shoving it in your s/o's mouth) Does it taste as bad as it smells?
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01-24-2004, 11:59 AM
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Just want to enjoy life!
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,537
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ROTFLMAO, those are good and true!
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01-24-2004, 04:15 PM
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~~Kinky Bitch~~
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LMAO lixy i do that to jeeping , or well i try , he usually gives me the are u fuckin nuts look while grabbing it from myhand and chunkin it in the bin!
~nikki~
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01-25-2004, 04:17 AM
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But seriously, who thought of brick wallpaper?
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01-25-2004, 05:15 AM
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Just me.
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Location: West central Illinois
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LMAO. These are all terrific.
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01-25-2004, 08:41 AM
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Registered User
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Location: North Australia
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Good, very good.
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01-25-2004, 08:48 AM
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Made in England
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
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Quote:
Originally posted by Steph
But seriously, who thought of brick wallpaper?
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The person who wanted to grow vines up their walls and couldn't decided to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. 
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01-25-2004, 08:57 AM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Besides garbage bags, those bags in the produce section get me everytime. I stand there like an idiot (ya I know, not neccessarily a stretch  ) veggies in one hnd thinking I am somehow going to get that bag open on the first try. 
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01-25-2004, 11:36 AM
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And I totally pictured WI with the person bashing his ankles in the produce aisle.
"Oh, that's OK. I wanted a gigantic ankle anyway."
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01-25-2004, 01:10 PM
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exposed member
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LMAO!
Also:
Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?
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"Old man, how is it that you can hear these things?
Young man, how is it that you do not?"
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01-25-2004, 03:11 PM
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Fill This Space
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Quote:
Originally posted by LixyChick
OMG! Too funny!
And....when you drop a piece of buttered toast....the buttered side will, most assuredly, hit the floor!
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On the buttered toast theory, (i'm sure we've all heard this) i just thought i'd share, this always cracks me up when I think of it. Buttered Toast
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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
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