It's best to start cringing before you even read them.

Bizarre Accidents Suffered by Blokes...

A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood dripping down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had a geranium inserted in his penis. The man had got the flower in without any difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem of the flower had dug into the urethra and ripped it to shreds.

A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from a night shift to his wife preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped a slice of bread around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the damage.

A 34-year old New Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his girlfriend on not one but two occasions, he noticed that his erection was still at its full glory. Having struggled to sleep through the night he woke up to find his boner still standing proud, but due to him worrying about the police finding out about his possession, and indeed the use of an illegal substance, he decided against visiting his doctor. However after three days of enduring headaches and nausea, caused by the constant trouser swelling, he went to the hospital in search of help. He was admitted immediately and referred to a specialist who diagnosed lack of oxygen to vital bloodstream's in his body, as the cause of his sickness. He was given numerous drugs and antibiotics to combat the swelling, but shortly afterwards developed blood clots in various parts of his body with gangrene setting in. As a
result he lost both legs, nine fingers and his penis.


And finally you may want to grit your teeth before you read this !!

When a mate was studying in Ireland, he took up rugby. As his first season wore on, the lads and him were eventually scheduled to play a team which had a reputation for violent play. Considering that they weren't the most talented outfit to have ever taken the field, they decided to accept the challenge with a "do or die" attitude, hoping things would eventually swing their way. They didn't, and to make matters worse their star player dislocated his hip after a particularly ferocious tackle. He was clearly in a lot of pain, so they all stood back to allow the medic to, in one swift movement, slot the hip back into its socket. Then
Alan began a long blood curdling scream. To their horror, they realised that one of his testicles had also been jammed into the socket and was now firmly held in place by the hip. Incidentally, he also managed to rip a vocal chord with his screaming...

__________________
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Plan more than you can do, then do it.

would you ever?
The Five Word Story Which Never Ends...
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What made you smile today?

OOOOOOH! I don't know if the cocaine one or the rugby one was worse!!!!!

The first lot, were just stupid, but the last one, you really have to pity the man!!! ooouch

__________________
Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it.
Plan more than you can do, then do it.

would you ever?
The Five Word Story Which Never Ends...
Movies Movies Movies
What made you smile today?

Stevo,

Hoo boy! That hurts me just to read it!

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Eudaimonia

Oh man Stevo! I'd really be cringing for the poor slobs......

if

it

weren't

for

your

motha

f'in

sexy

sweet

av

going

on

in

my

periphery!!!!

Sorry

bout

this

but

I

can't

say

ouch!

Only

Mmmmmmmmmmm!

Love the av......TY for sharing!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

well i guess you won't see me doing any of those things,

especially playing rugby

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

I still wanna know what's up with the "penis rolled in bread" thing??

oh...and the last one...... FUCKING OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!

Ouchies!!!! Glad I don't have to worry about any testicles getting caught anywhere when I play. The wost i've suffered from a rugby match is a few concussions & a broken nose & rib.

__________________
To know that you do not know is the best.
To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
Lao-tzu


I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sir Winston Churchill

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche

That last one has GOT to be made up.
The hip was dislocated, not completely ripped off - there's skin and muscle in the way, there's no way a nut can slip in there.

Nup, I refuse to believe it. Not physically possible.

And as for the rest of them, well, we're men. We're stupid. We do stupid things.

CasperTG

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You know, Blackadder, for me socks are like sex. Tons of it about and I never seem to get any.

My Photos:
https://imgur.com/a/80hiRdm

Real or not..just the thought of it makes me wanna cough up blood...

Other things have been known to get stuck in the divot made by a dislocated joint ... well in the shoulder at least, like clothing material & whatnot ... if the sink folds in ... just thought i'd put (another) 2 cents in

__________________
To know that you do not know is the best.
To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
Lao-tzu


I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Sir Winston Churchill

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche