NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
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> > BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping.
> Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
> >
> >MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women.
> Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me
> want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
> >
> > ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's
> depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for
> up to six hours.
> >
> >EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that
> eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how
> awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait
> till they moved out.
> >
> >PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two
> full cups swallowed before an evening out increases
> breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
> flirting.
> >
> > DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause
> lowering of IQ, causing enjoyment of loud country
> music and cheap beer.
> >
> >FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by
> controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other
> drivers.
> >
> >JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who
> can't remember your birthday, anniversary, or phone
> number.
> >
> > ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or
> wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their
> life stories with total strangers.
> >
> >RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the
> same irritation as nagging on him all weekend, saving
> the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
> >
> >DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go
> to hell for 8 hours!