Got this and thought I'd pass it on. For all you mom's ...

MOMS

The following are different answers given by school age children to the given question: Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
3. Mostly to clean the house.
4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3.They say she used to be nice.

How did your mom meet your dad?

1.Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1.His last name.
2.She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

What makes a real woman?

1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power because that’s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What's the difference between moms and grandmas?

1. About 30 years.
2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don’t even have bread on them!

Describe the world's greatest mom?

1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
2. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

Is anything about your mom perfect?

1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
3. Just her children

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

THE END!

TOO funny, DB!

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Love it!

ROFLMFAO!!

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Rain: Liquid Sunshine!

Life's A Bitch, but I Deal withit!!

Thanks DB... I have been missin my boy something aweful.. needed that Only 6 more days to go.........

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DB these are great !!! Thanks.

Very funny!, I liked it

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"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
E. E. Cummings

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LMAO... that was too funny, and very true..

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Out of the mouths of babes!

Sometimes you wish they'd put a sock in it!

LOL @ what she needed to know before she married dad........and being made up of "men's bones and string"!!!!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~