The Top Ten April Fool's Jokes on the Enterprise

10) Everybody act like Riker is the captain

9) Pretend you've been taken over by an alien being

8) Program the replicator in Troi's room so that it won't make chocolate

7) Replay file tape of Borg ship on main viewer

6) Tell Data that Starfleet has decided to dismantle him

5) Put a small speaker in Dr. Crusher's bedroom to play garbled voices

4) Lock Picard in the children's schoolroom with several children and no adults

3) Substitute some of Dr. Crusher's moss with moss showing 24 hours more growth

2) Put a sign on Worf's back that says "Kick Me!"

1) Yell into your communicator "Captain, the antimatter containment fields are collapsing"

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Top 10 Best (Worst) Ways to Kill Wesley Crusher

10. After slugging down six Shirley Temple's in 10-forward, Wes stumbles to the holodeck, which he commands to "take me to hell." His broken body is later found on the empty holodeck in a pool of vomit.

9. Wesley gets gang-raped by a group of female Klingons.

8. Riker gets carried away executing an order from Picard to "knock the little snot around a bit."

7. Data catches him tossing off. Uncomprehending, he requires a detailed explanation from Wesley, who dies of embarrassment.

6. Extensive lab analysis of a green slime found on one of the control panels uncovers the fact that our favorite ensign has, once again, been picking his nose. He is summarily fired and commits suicide.

5. Wes gets gang-raped by a group of male Klingons.

4. On an earlier episode, Wes got to kiss a girl who turned into a Chewbacca-like creature. Here, she returns, and they once again get involved. (Un)fortunately, once she gets really heated, she mutates back into a wookie and forces Wesley to be her cringing sex slave. She then tears him limb from limb and eats him.

3. In a rare episode involving characters from both ST and ST:TNG, Spock attempts a Vulcan mind-meld with Wesley. Wesley's head explodes. Spock barely survives, spending the next several days scratching himself and whining.

2. Worf notices a Romulan ship on the scanners, and sends Wesley down to clean out the photon tubes. Later, someone makes a comment about the needs of the many having outweighed the needs of the few.

1. Wes gets involved in a deviant sexual practice known as "tribble stuffing," not realizing that tribbles multiply any where. Even an emergency laser enema by Dr. Crusher fails to save him

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Top Ten Fun Things To Do Aboard The Starship Enterprise:

10. Playing Jimi Hendrix in the Holodeck while Geordi is there and using appropriate psychedelia on the walls to drive him crazy

9. Skeet shooting the shuttlecraft

8. Plugging Nintendo cartridges into Data

7. Giving Worf A nuggie

6. Ordering Pizza from Domino's then going 30 min. into the future just to piss them off (haha, free pizza!)

5. Secretly replacing the Dilithium crystals with New Foldger's crystals

4. Reprogramming the computer to play the theme to Jeopardy during self-destruct sequence

3. Watching Captain Picard do his Mr. Clean impression

2. Calling down to the transporter room, ask if they've beamed aboard Prince Albert In A Can

1. Tribble sex!

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

TOP TEN BUMPERSTICKERS ON THE U.S.S. ENTERPRISE

10. "Our other starship separates into 3 pieces!"

9. "One photon torpedo can ruin your whole day...think about it"

8. "HONK if you've slept with Commander Riker!"

7. "Guns don't kill people...Class 2 Phasers do!"

6. "Zero to Warp 9.7 in 13 seconds!"

5. "CAUTION...We have a trigger happy Klingon at tactical."

4. "If you can read this...don't you think you're a wee bit too close?"

3. "Have you hugged a Ferengi today?"

2. "We brake for cubes!"

1. "Wesley On Board!"

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

................ and finally... lol

Top Ten Hobbies of William T. Riker

10. Posing behind Picard.

9.Posing behind Worf.

8. Posing in front of that young ensign down in engineering.

7. Posing in front of Picard.

6. Posing on the Engineering table in engineering when nobody's there.

5. Falling asleep during one of Jean-Luc's lectures in the briefing room.

4. Posing in front, behind and anywhere in the vicinity of Deanna/Ro.

3. As 4 but when I have her alone and naked in my quarters.

2. Something involving and chocolate....

and the number 1 hobby of commander William T. Riker is..

1. Do you really need to ask....?

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

Please don't let Aqua see this

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

*Ssssssssssssssassy snorts!!*

I laughed so loud hubby said "WHAT???" LOL LOL

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Everyone knows that laugher is great foreplay!

Love it Cheyanne....rotflmao....thank you

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Life? O that thing again!

"I now leave you to your moosey fate"

Are we there yet?

Top Ten ways to know your roommate is a Borg

10. Their clothes are always black

9. The $50,000 phone bills

8. They spend 3 weeks in Florida and still look white

7. Your home entertainment center disappears, two days later they are wearing it.

6. TV reception gets poor when they walk by

5. They spend more time reading newsgroups than you do

4. Whenever you talk to them the laser on the side of their head
blinds you

3. An electronics store chain used them as a mascot

2. They assimilate all your food

1. Everything is irrelavant

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
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My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

I didnt understand or get a single one of those....I swear!!

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

Beam me up Scotty, theres no intelligent life down here

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Hey... Leave poor old Wesley alone!




























LOL

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these