Pay close attention here fellows....



Women's Rules for Blow Jobs


1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1-- So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it's not standard practice to come on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 -- No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are not handles,

6. Extension to rule #5 -- don't push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?

7. I don't care how relaxed you get, it is NEVER okay to fart.

8. Having my period doesn't mean it's "hummer week." Get it through your head -- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because you can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 -- "Blue Balls" might have worked in high school. But if you're really that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked" it for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you'd like to get another blow job in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."


Now can you add your own rules????? LMFAO!!!

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*Diva*



"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

Always with the damnnnn rules...geez

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

Too funny Diva

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Probably NOT a good idea to tell her it must be a natural talent. That she does it just like her sister.

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pantyfanatic---You think that you have it bad?My wife has two(2)
sisters! Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

My wife doesn't even come close to her sister OOOOOPPPPS was that out loud?

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!

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You're not fooling us Diva, You LOVE it when a man cums all over your face...

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

Well done, Diva. Show us who´s wearing the trousers.

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

Well done diva very clever and very correct....

17. If I am licking your balls and you cum all over the sheets before I can catch it............No, we can't wait till morning to change the sheets!

18. Extension to rule #17...You go get the fresh sheets if the cum is on my side of the bed!

19. Further extension to rule #17...Now make the bed! You could have told me you were about to cum and I could have prevented this mess!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

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Hilarious!

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~ I want you to want me.....

Women's Rules For Bj's!!!
rule #20 :RETURN THE FAVOR, WOMEN PUT IT IN THEIR MOUTH , MEN CAN PUT IT ON THEIRS.!OH YEAH AND DON'T FORGET TO THANK HER WITH A KISS.
sorry for the caps but I agree with the rules even though I am a man.

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"Onward my Orkish brothers!For after
the battle, we eat the dead!!" Shouted the Orcish Grand Master, After he had taken down his third Space Marine.

What Buford T. Justice, er Aqua, said!



rabbit

"No one...I mean NO ONE...makes a possums ass out of Sheriff Buford T. Justice!" (sorry Aqua, I couldn't resist...it's one of my all-time fav movies)