I, like others, couldn't read your letter. I'm not about getting all up in people's private lives. What I did see sounded mature and calm and i commend you for that - mature and calm and too very hard things to be at a time like this.

Take each day as a new beginning. You didn't develop these strong feelings overnight adn they won't go away overnight. One step at a time.

And also, and I want to make sure you see this so I'm turning up the volume
you deserve nothing less than complete and total respect!!!!

If he won't respect you, piss on him. Find someone that will, because there are plenty of guys out there that will - they're just a little hard to find sometimes.

Most of all, make sureyou are treating yourself with respect - that's more important than anything.