Chin up, sistah!

I lost my grandma about six months ago. We had a similar emotional bond like you described. I was the favorite, and she was my grandma. She taught me to play piano, and would let me sit next to her on the piano bench while she played in church. She listened when I talked, and valued my opinions even when I didn't have a clue what i was talking about. She was the one that convinced me that my boyfriend was a no good piece of shit when we broke up and accepted him back into the fold without question when we got back together six months later. She was an astonishing Christian lady, but she never took any airs about herself. She even bought me my wedding night lingere.
She had congestive heart failure for several years. She would ahve good days and bad, better and worse. I watched her go from playing paino every Sunday to not having the energy to move her hands from her lap to the keys. As she got worse, she started retaining fluid and that poisoned her mind. Sometimes she wouldn't even remember my name or my son's name.
Other times, though, she was clear as a bell. The last conversation we ever had togther we were talking about football - she lived for the Pittsburgh Steelers. she asked me if I had rooted for the Steelers in the game that afternoon and I told her of course I had. "good," she joked "otherwise i would ahve to come to ******* and burn your house down."
she was a DNR and when she finally went I was so sad, but i was also very thankful. I knew that she wasn't living the kind of life that she wanted to live anymore and that she would be so much happier in heaven. I firmly believe that she was granted a new body, and a heart that works. I firmly believe that she is happy, painless, and carefree. I think signing a DNR was one of the best decisions she ever made.

Wow, this was longer than I intended. Girl, PM me if you need to talk. You can never have too much support. I'll be thinking about you.

LAW