Steph...

Sometimes we fall in love with someone so completely wrong for us that we lose ourselves in an illusion. I can only tell you that, for me, the only way to deal with it and to remain in control is to completely stay away from him. I still think of him almost daily after many years... but I have refrained from contacting him (atleast in the last 4 years). I know where he lives (in Louisiana) and I know that I can find the numbers needed to contact him. The only thing that stops me from doing just that is knowing in my heart that doing so would ultimately destroy me. Am I whole without him? Absolutely not... but I realize that having him in my life is not possible... that when he is in my life he envelops me.. the world is more colorful for sure... but I lose myself...

I wish you much happiness....