Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post

Was just dropping in (didn't sign in...just clicked on the site to try and do a fast catch up...still working my ass off...but that's another story...*sigh*) and came across this thread. Had to sign in to comment cause I luv ya nutworld...and of course I have to add my 2 pennies!

As I started reading, I was just gonna skip some replies and make a quick comment. Something told me to read on...to read the entire contents of the thread. As unusual as it seems...I actually listened to my inner voice and read on.

Here's my 2 pennies...for what they are worth (I know...I know...they are worth 2 fucking pennies...lmfao!)

I will never get used to this "new age" of child rearing! I respected my elders because I was RAISED to respect my elders!!!! These days, children DEMAND their own respect as if they are in control of their elders...and the funny thing is, they are! WE did that! We are the reason they have us in their control. Yet...WE still wonder what happened to the youth of the day?????????????

*quoting a song from Bye Bye Birdie*..."Why can't they be like we were...perfect in every way...What's the matter with kids today?"

There is NOTHING wrong with the kids of today that we didn't predispose (is that a word?...is now!) them to! I say "we"...meaning every parent and family member who is dealing with...today's issues of disipline, working parents, guilt of lack of quality time and therefore overkill on material ownership without them actually earning the privledge...etc.! Kids have found us to be an easy mark to take advantage of because we have enough guilt to show them our weakness. I was a smart kid and had my family situation been anything like what I see now...shit yeah...I might have stacked the deck in my favor too! Don't blame the girls nutworld. They are smart and have made the best of their situation (manipualtion isn't for the feeble minded!!!)

I've always had a feeling that there are THREE sides to every relationship. Hers, his and the actuality (from a bystanders point of view). You have strong convictions of the happenings and goings on...she has strong convictions of the happenings and goings on...and then there is the person[s] who can see the forest fore the trees.

It's good, nutworld, that you have stepped out of the situation and can now have a different perspective. Sounds to me though, that you are hanging on to your convictions that [she] has let the kids rule the family. It isn't just her fault...it's yours too hun. You married her knowing the situation. Am I right? And...if I may be so bold...Have you and her argued the point in ear shot of the girls? They gotcha there if you did!!!! They know from the first overheard comment that it's your (you and your wife's) Achiles heel!

So let's boil this down from my point of view...k?

What do you want? Do you want to revive the relationship that was with your wife? Or...do you want out? Loulabelle is right on in saying you can't go to therapy with no intention of rekindling the relationship! You just can't! It's just wrong to pretend because in the end the pretense will bite you in the butt!

Speaking of butts....BUT, if you do want it back...the love, the passion, the fire, the reason you fell in love...you have to go to therapy just to convince yourself and your wife (and the kids too) that this is a family in distress and this is the help we need and this is the way it's gonna be! Granted...it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks (change is so hard for some to take)...but with love, time, determination, diligence, and TLC, it can happen!

The question is...

Do YOU have the love, time, determination, diligence, and TLC to take on such a humongous task?

If the answer to any of those choices is no...MOVE ON! And...let her know that if she didn't want you then, she might want you less now since you've had a chance to step back and see that you and her were good at making a beautiful baby together, but the demands to make you change (or you to make her change) your convictions are too hard to ignore!

Oh geezzzzzzzz...I hope this came out as intended! Only trying to help hun!

((((((((((((nutworld)))))))))))))