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You need to have a serious conversation with him about how his non-committal reactions to your questions are making you feel.

I recently went through a similar thing, whereby I was beginning to get concerned that we needed to act in order to make sure we didn't get lazy and lose the spark in our relationship, as I could see a few tell tale signs that we might be heading in that direction.

I began to try to draw a little more out of my SO about his fantasies and preferences and too, was met with 'I don't know'. The problem is, that women are brought up to believe that men are more sexual creatures than us, and that burning just below the surface are a host of unspeakable fantasies and fetishes that they're just waiting for a woman to take interest in. The reality is, that a lot of the time that just isn't true and that men need to spend time and energy learning about themselves and exploring their sexuality further, just like women do.

Eventually, after several failed conversations with him on this subject, I talked it through with a good friend of mine, and came to some conclusions about our sex life. One of the main things was that I was putting a lot of pressure on him to come up with his fantasies so that I could indulge them (because indulging other people's fantasies is what really turns me on) but what if, in fact we're both 'pleasers' sexually speaking? What if his biggest turn on is, in fact, indulging my fantasies etc? When I looked at it this way, I realised that I needed to explore further and develop my own, self centred fantasies in order to break the circle.

With my new found insight, I then talked to him about it, and for the first time, I was able to communicate how important it was to me (and to the relationship) that we addressed the needs of our sex life and made an effort to maintain it, rather than just assuming it would always tick along like clockwork. After sharing my fears, tears and hurt at his 'I dunno' reactions (i.e. if you can't be bothered to think about this, you can't be bothered to care about our realtionship) I finally got the message across and we both resolved to communicate more openly about our needs and desires, and not to fall into the 'oh I'm just too tired tonight honey' pitfalls which often plague relationships and make it so much easier to be tempted away by someone new.

It was only when I'd explained where I could see the relationship going if we didn't address the issue, that I was able to get some serious responses from him, but it was well worth a somewhat anguished conversation and tears on both sides to get the issue dealt with. Since the conversation however, the discussion has been taken to heart by both sides, and we are both making more effort to make time for each other. It's great.

I know that sharing this will destroy a lot of Pixie-people's belief that Fussy and I are 'the perfect couple' but it's worth it if the story of our experience can help you and your partner communicate more openly. Good luck sweetie.