LOL at all of those... here's one of my favorites.

A woman walks into a pet shop, hoping to find a new pet for her family. As she's browsing, she notices a beautiful parrot in a cage. The price tag on it is a surprising $50.

The woman finds a clerk and says "This is a wonderful bird. Why is it so cheap?"

The clerk looks embarrassed, then replies, "Well, it used to live in a house of prostitution. So he's picked up some words and says some pretty vulgar things sometimes."

The woman thinks it over, and figures that it can't be so bad, and he's only $50. She can always return it. So she pays for the bird, covers it up, and takes him home.

Once she gets home, she puts the bird on a table in the living room and uncovers it. The bird looks around, then squawks, "New house, new madam." The woman is shocked by the implication of the words, but figures that it wasn't so bad.

The woman's 2 young daughters soon come home from school, and she shows the girls the magnificent bird. The bird looks at them and says, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls look startled, then laugh. The bird still isn't too scandalous.

The woman's husband, Keith, comes home from work and walks in to see the parrot. The bird takes one look at him.

"Hi, Keith."

:grin:

__________________
I see your fantasy... you want to make it a reality

Are you in the mood to be subdued

You see these shackles
Baby I’m your slave
I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave

Tie me to the bedpost

I like it rough
cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all