My favorite is heating something up in the microwave....then finding it the next day because I forgot about it.

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“Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering.” - Buckminster Fuller

"A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself." - Guildenstern, “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead”