let go of her as long as you hold this anger and despair then you will feel powerless as you let go think of it as sand slipping through your fingers and being blown away in the wind of time old hurt never ever goes away completly but you can put it in it's place and quietly turn your back upon it.
I encourage you to go do something frivolous and purely fun for yourself and if it should happen that another can be involved well great but remember what fun there is in just "being" with yourself . I wish I was ther i'd give you a big huggle and then push you back out of the "nest" to face the world in all your glory. you are a rightous human being and no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
good luck sweety bg1

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