A lot of psychologists/psychiatrists/grief counselors, etc. believe there are 7 stages of grief and that we go through all or most of them when there is a loss in our life (not just death, but the loss of reliationships, loss of careers, etc.) Sounds like you've hit the anger stage (good news is that is stage 5 - only 2 more to go and the last one of those is acceptance = the 6th, however is despair, and it sounds like you are approaching that one). Don't give up on the world ... Yes, there are a lot of crappy things that happen in this life ... but there are also some really wonderful things as well .... From what I remember, you have a lot of years ahead of you to get to the wonderful things, don't rush, enjoy the moments as they come along. Happiness and joy can be as much about what you choose to feel as about what is happening to you.

I know it sounds sappy, but in the middle of feeling lost, alone, angry, hurt, etc. look for one good thing that warms your heart and cheers your soul ... it doesn't have to be big or monumental ... the sight of a daffodil usually has that effect on me, or the sound of a child laughing ... any child ... And let go of the hurt, anger, etc. at least long enough to enjoy the wonder of that single moment and remember it for when the hurt, pain, anger, etc. come crashing in at you. Wishing you every joy and happiness to be in your life at the time it will be best. (((((((Ranger)))))))