As far as I am concerned, it's all inter-related. A sexual feedback loop, really. When I feel sexy, I am more outgoing....and I am aware that I also walk in a certain way, and dress in a certain way, and look at others with a certain sexual "challenge" in my eyes.
I am not ~ by any stretch of the imagination ~ the most gorgeous woman. But when I act in the above manner, I get noticed. A lot. By whole ranges of men, some of whom are surely out of my league.
Just last night, I got asked out at the gym (by a real muscular hottie who was surely younger than me) and (slightly less impressive) the Chipotle guy.
Probably because I wasn't wearing my wedding ring (it was being cleaned) ~~ but it happens more than you'd think.
Of course, being noticed pumps up my self-esteem even more.
Hence the positive feedback loop. I have whole weeks ~ even months ~ when I am "on." Then something happens (I get tired, sick, stressed, etc) and the loop breaks. But after a few weeks, it's normally re-instated.