Quote:
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Originally Posted by WildIrish
My response indicated, truthfully by the way, that I procrastinate. This applies to tasks, not responsibilities. I don't miss deadlines. I don't turn in incomplete or shoddy work. And I don't expect anyone else to pick up the slack. My work is mine, it's done right and it's done on time.
That has nothing to do with life at home, where we don't have chores and deadlines. I do all the cooking. I am the one that puts the kids on the bus each morning, lunches and all. I rotate laundry before I go to work and at night before I go to bed too. I have always been the one to do bathtime with the kids, and put them to bed...stories and all. I do it because it needs to be done and just because Mrs. WI is home more often than I am doesn't mean she should be the one doing it.
What do I want? Nothing. I don't deserve recognition. I don't want a medal. No statues erected in the center of the yard. But, please don't assume that I'm lazy because I have a penis.
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I have to admit...I TOTALLY expected this very response from EVERY man here at Pixies...and I am soooooooooooooooooo surprised that I didn't have PM's out the wazzoo or that I didn't get banned for my reply!
*jumps up on the soapbox*
I read this thread this morning (before WI's reply), just as I was about to sign off, and was amazed by the replies...but had no time to answer. All I kept thinking about at work all day was an excerpt from a Chris Rock comedy show. Chris says something like...I get tired of hearing the brothers say, "I take care of my kids"! "You're suppose to take care of your kids mother fucker! They're YOUR kids! Whatta want...a cookie?"
I should start out with an appology to anyone who my response doesn't apply to...but I won't...because I stand by what I said because it IS more the norm than what WI has stated of himself, or what Lil has said of her hubby. To them...I commend you for "getting it"! No statue...no medal...just a nod and a wink for being in the minority...yet, not feeling minor!
To WI...I am sorry you assumed that I stated that people with a penis are lazy...I DID NOT SAY THAT! My husband is anything but lazy! He has worked at a job for over 12 years that requires so much physical labor that 5 men of lesser fortitude could NEVER withstand. He spends his winters in a climate that even bears hibernate from. He spends his summers in a climate that would wilt a cactus. He tends our yard like it's the 3rd fairway at Pebble Beach. It may have seemed like I was calling him lazy...but what I actually was saying is, he has no idea what it takes to make and keep a house a home!
I work 40-60 hours a week and he works 40 hours a week...period! I spend 3/4 of my summer "helping him" with the yard chores...and when we are done, he goes about his business and I get back to the necessities. I know he lifts the toilet seat...cause he is younger than me (not an old man) and still stands to pee. I'd love him to clean the bowl without my having to ask him! I know he can see the need for it. And...If I walk into the house and smell the litter box and he is already home and is planning something else to do, I say, "Hmmmmmm...that litter box stinks", and he says, "Oh, really? I didn't even smell it". Do I have to hit him over the head with a frying pan? It sucks the biggest donkey dick for me to have to tell him each and every time..."please empty the litter box, please take the trash out when you go out that way towards the barn where the trash can is located, etc., etc., etc! It's no wonder men say women are bitchy...we have to repeat ourselves on each and every occasion when something needs to be done again! It's like he's thinking..."Oh, I just emtied that trash can...it can't be full again" (one week later). The can gets full again, and if I have to ask every single time I'd rather just do it myself!
That brings me to maddy's reply...Yes! I thought of the patriarichal concept. And yes...Mr. Lixy earns more than me, but...in this day and age, he may earn the "bread", but I do the "hunting"! I do the grocery/present/card shopping...I do the bills...I do the cleaning...I make all the pertinent calls to "officials", I do IT all! I NEVER planned...or even insisted...that I do it all...it was just assumed. I got the ole, "You're so much better at "that" (whatever the "that" was at the time) than I am, sob story. I even tried to delegate. I put my foot down one day and said, "You have to take at least 2-3 of these jobs (I wrote them down) over from me". He chose grocery shopping and the litter box. Our cat is old and sick and requires more attention now than ever...so it seemed fair at the time. It was like high school, where he'd finally get to choose subjects...and his choice was study hall and golf...instead of widening his horizons and upping the math or language skills. My mistake, for not wording that choice better! He shops for groceries now...if I make the list. The cat gets sick...he never saw it on the carpet. Hey! It wasn't in the litter box! Ummmmmmm...ok, nuff said bout how that's working out.
Which leads me to Cheyanne's reply...Let me first say, I am in no way belittled or upset by your words! Never have been...never will be! I truely appreciate constructive observations and or/critisism! OK...so you seem a lot like me in being a "take charge" kinda woman. I've never written a list of priority or expected him to read my mind and take on anything. If I see that "it" is not getting done, I do "it". And that was my biggest mistake from the get-go! I guess I assume that he should see what has to be done and just do it. It's there...highly visible or a necessity on a daily basis...just do it! It would save me from having to ask and save him from making up excuses and/or rolling his eyes and "taking time from his own priority". It doesn't help that I have a bit of an O.C.D. problem...but in Mr. Lixy's defense, he pointed out some of my obsessive problems about cleaning obsessions and authority compulsions. From that day forward (almost 7 years ago) I have "seen the light" and have tried with all my heart to communicate, sans bitchy, how I am feeling and how he can help. That lasts about two weeks and I am at square one again. *sigh* Don't get me wrong...Everyone...please don't get me wrong! I love my husband with all my heart and would fall on a sword to spare his life! But, I bet I'd have to ask him to bring the sword closer, cause he'd not see that it wouldn't do the job from WAY OVER THERE----------> *giggle*
Which leads me to Aqua's reply...
would be wonderful right now hun! Just bend me over the ironing board and have your way...and don't mind me...I'm a bit busy right now!
JK Aqua babe...I'd do ya even if I wasn't busy!
Which leads me to osuche's reply...Thank you for sharing the soapbox! It gets lonely up here sometime. BTW...I've discovered that the "reward" system will never work unless we evolve to a point where we have our pussy in the room where we aren't bitching. Oh...wait...that explains "The Real Doll" in the guest room!!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeek! JK...JK!
Lilith? Kiss your hubby for me...just because!
WI? *SWALCAKWS* Translation? Sealed With A Lick Cause A Kiss Wouldn't Stick!
And now...back to the original intent of the thread!