Its really difficult to go through life with such mixed emotions all the time... Sometimes i find it hard to even think.. reasonably.. or i find myself getting lost in fantasies.. whatever they may be.. But I've yet to figure out how im supposed to continue with this.. being lost is such a terrible thing..

can't really get what i want to say .. typed out properly.. going throuhg life with strange looks from everyone including your close family members because you don't think on the same level. You just want to shout out.. scream until you collapse...

lay in bed and hold your muscles taunt until your veins pound and your blood burns... you mouth wide in a never ending silent scream... you can almost feel a power welling up inside you and it leaves.. you want to ask why.. but to who.. there certainly isnt a god. maybe in someone elses life.. but not in mine.

how do you survive with such a weight on your chest.. with such anger and hatred? not even love can take it away.. maybe for a day.. or two. but it comes back.. and you remember everything. your brought back to your reality only to realize its not what you should have.. why would you be given such a raw deal?....

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Fantasy is only as as fake as your body wants it to be.