WI, I've been trying to do the same thing recently. I think it's a life-long process, but I've been starting in little ways...such as my post on Red's "love your body" thread.
There are a heck of a lot of people who have it worse than me ~ so I don't feel entitled to complain ~ but I didn't have an idyllic childhood. And that changes you...makes you less likely to trust, more guarded against risks, and sometimes clouds your judgement.
I've been trying to celebrate the positives. Those bad experiences don't go away...but they have made me who I am. Because of them, I know that I have the strength to get through almost anything. I have empathy for others ~ because I know how precious life really is...and because I also understand that bad things can happen to good people. I try to take the time to share a hug, some food, care, money...anything....with others ~ because I know those little things *do* matter, and because I know that timely help has restored my faith in mankind on several occasions.
The end result? Who knows. All I know is that I have to get through it, otherwise I'm going to end up raising kids as screwed up as I was. And I want them to find NEW ways to be screwed up.
If you ever want to talk, WI....PM me. I'd love to hear about your progress.