the situation i was in with my grandmother was quite bad. I basically said goodbye to my gran about 3 years ago, because that was the moment when the last remnants of the woman who helped raise me disappeared. So all that was left was me wishing for her to die (its sad to say, but my grandfather was suffering badly, he was in ill health and he visited her everyday) and the stress of the situation has unfortunately (in my belief) cut my grandfathers life short by a number of years.

So basically, ive yet to mourn over my grandmothers death, as i had already prepared myself for it. all that was left after that was determination to do everything i can for one of my closest family who fell victim to the vilest disease on the planet.